Rhythm

[snargleplax]

I wrote these lyrics this week and would love any reactions or crit. This was me trying out AABA structure rather than VCV. The style is pretty much a soul song; try to sing it like Sam Cooke or Otis Redding and you'll get the idea. Maybe a touch of Ray Lamontagne?

Still working out the chords, but I'll get there when I get there.


RHYTHM

VERSE 1

I got a long, slow slow rhythm
I don't take corners runnin' too fast
So I will get there when I get there
I take every step, ooh when I'm ready at last

Oh, the little things, they can cost me so dear
But I'm here to taste each moment sublime
I can't be runnin', runnin', runnin' 'round always catchin' up
You know I just gotta dance to my own sweet time


VERSE 2

I got a long, slow slow rhythm
So why don't you go easy for a moment with me?
You know when you're in there, you really in there
And it is the only way to be free

Take a little step away from your worries, dear
And bring your lips that much closer to mine
I see you hustlin', hustlin', hustlin', till you've had enough
I just wanna make it last while I got your time


BRIDGE

'Cause it's a shame, shame, shame if you can't see the wood for the flame
And I been tryin', I been tryin' to cool you down
I don't wanna lay any kind of heavy trip on you, baby
But how would it be now if you was to stick around?


[ INSTRUMENTAL BREAK ]


VERSE 3

Now we got a long, slow slow rhythm
Drinking the moonlight while it's free
Lyin' down next to you in the middle of the road
Concocting our answers to life's mystery

It's a little bit of a fantasy life
But I'm here to taste each moment sublime
With all of this lovin', lovin', lovin', you got to tell me, mama
What are you doin' with the rest of your time?

[Vicki]

I like the rhythm of this! I want to hear the finished version, so...soon, I hope?

[Mike67]

I like the rhythm of this top. And the the repetition on each pert of the versus. Looking forward to hearing it - like a lot of songs it'll be all about the arramgement and production.