Songwriter Forum

General Category => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Sully62 on May 20, 2025, 09:14 PM

Title: Cornwall Sky
Post by: Sully62 on May 20, 2025, 09:14 PM
Hi, new here so be nice!

Wrote this whilst trekking round the Cornish coast, a song close to my heart as I love Cornwall and it was nice to pay homage to it in

https://youtu.be/U_YOOmM24gU?si=GBdXEvf_hbGfkvZM




Drive on down to where the land gives in,

Past the fields and the caravan wind.

Sense the smell of the salty air

The horizon is waiting there

Waves roll in like whispered dreams

folding into blues and greens.

And I feel the powerful ocean calling me

Cornwall Sky, flying so high
Cornwall Sky, bluer than the bluest eyes

I traced your name but the tide's a thief it washed away my soul

And the wind sings a song I used to know a long time ago

Cornwall Sky, take off and fly
Cornwall Sky, bluer than the bluest eyes


Drive on down to where the land gives in,

Past the fields and the caravan wind.....





Title: Re: Cornwall Sky
Post by: Vicki on May 21, 2025, 10:45 PM
Welcome to the forum! I hope you'll jump right in, do some listening and giving feedback to other members.

I listened to "Cornwall Sky". Pretty song. I have one recommendation for [what I think is] the chorus. The first time it says, "flying so high" and the second time it says, "take off and fly". I recommend--for the first one especially, but both, because they're the chorus and should be the same melody--to have the melody rise instead of fall, so it matches what's happening in the lyrics.

That's it from me.

Vicki
Title: Re: Cornwall Sky
Post by: mayaclars on May 27, 2025, 04:34 PM
@Sully62 ,

Beautiful nature in the photos.
The song conveys all the beauty of the Cornwall Sky.
Nice music, nice vocals.

Maya