Songwriter Forum

General Category => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: WelshSteve on Aug 30, 2025, 08:28 PM

Title: Sunrise
Post by: WelshSteve on Aug 30, 2025, 08:28 PM
https://soundcloud.com/steve-lewis-36/sunrise

Hi. I've not posted for a while. Had some family illnesses going on thro the year right up until now.
Anyway, this tune was inspired when talking to a friend of mine about the abusive relationship that she'd been in. I asked her to write some notes if she could, so that I could write this tune. She kindly agreed...and is no longer in that relationship, and because of that I decided that she'd had a new Sunrise.


Sunrise

Bright eyes uncompromising
Silent strength a heart that shines
Restless nights and brave 'goodbying'
Close the doors and roll the dice
Close the doors and roll the dice

Walk alone but never lonely
Feel the weight don't pay the cost
Wide awake and standing taller
Never rescued, never lost
Never rescued, never lost

Kitchen dancer cried on floors
Now wide awake and standing tall
Love may come and love may go
See the sunrise glow
Watch the sunrise grow


(M8)
Dreams change, slip away
Peering through a hollow frame
Bridges burn, no return
Empty pages in a flame

....(guitar)
Bright eyes uncompromising
Close the doors and roll the dice
Close the doors and roll the dice


Kitchen dancer cried on floors
Now wide awake and standing tall
Love may come and love may go
See the sunrise glow
Watch the sunrise grow

Title: Re: Sunrise
Post by: Thekesslerboy on Aug 31, 2025, 12:00 AM
Good moody drama here.  More hard hitting knowing the back story. I see you're a U2 fan and this is reminiscent of their Joshua Tree period.

I think the chorus needs something, not sure what.  It either needs to lift us triumphantly out of the heartache or revel in the depths of despair.  The lyrics are fine, I just think the music needs something to make it stand out more from the verse.

I do like it and that's why I make the comment, constructively.  Can't fault the sentiment behind this and your support for your friend.
Title: Re: Sunrise
Post by: Vicki on Aug 31, 2025, 02:35 AM
Nice one, Steve. I like the lyrics and the setting works well.
Title: Re: Sunrise
Post by: Elvis Nash on Sep 17, 2025, 12:04 AM
Cool production man
Title: Re: Sunrise
Post by: Rightly on Sep 26, 2025, 10:03 PM
Very well put together.
I especially like the lyrics, poetic and leaves room for the active listener

An interesting approach to writing a song.
I've done similar things and will do again.
I enjoyed the listen. Thanks.
Title: Re: Sunrise
Post by: Elvis Nash on Oct 06, 2025, 04:43 PM
Cool poetic song , Some nice little nuances going on musically
Sounds good man
Title: Re: Sunrise
Post by: Veance on Oct 07, 2025, 02:21 PM
Nice voice. How did you record it? Izotope? Changes in melody are subtle. That is a choice; i like to make bigger changes/breaks. Listeners nowadays get easily bored.
I liked your idea of adding the sounds in the beginning after your guitar intro