Songwriter Forum

General Category => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Mora Amaro La Loba on Nov 01, 2025, 11:42 AM

Title: The trap of your desire
Post by: Mora Amaro La Loba on Nov 01, 2025, 11:42 AM
Bueno, Here I am, sharing my latest work with an almost invisible world... 8)



hastily
hastily

my hands stuff things
 into my suitcase
hastily
hastily

I just wanted to disappear
 
The sound of the door
closing
brought tears into my eyes
drowning in silence my throat
 
No one knew nor will know
that I was a butterfly
behind the glass of your desire.

Now
we meet here and there
and
despite
avoiding your gaze
I feel it
calling my flesh
holding onto my dress.
 
I wish I don't wish
your mouth seizing my mouth,
your hands
caressing me
making me moan and whisper
as if I were a guitar
 
I wish
I don't wish
I wish
I don't wish
Title: Re: The trap of your desire
Post by: Elvis Nash on Nov 01, 2025, 06:13 PM
Hey Mora , Sounds great in your unusual free falling lyric style

Cool vid also

Elvis
Title: Re: The trap of your desire
Post by: Mora Amaro La Loba on Nov 04, 2025, 11:42 PM
Hola chico, again here, commenting, giving a push up to my work!!! Much appreciated Elvis, stay well

Mora
Title: Re: The trap of your desire
Post by: calafinestrat on Nov 05, 2025, 10:24 AM
Unique style. Great video, I'm not sure I understand the lyrics completely - maybe somebody escaping from an abusive relationship and looking back with mixed emotions. Your voice is very similar to Marlene Dietrich.
The backing fits the lyrics and the voice very well. Nice job.
Title: Re: The trap of your desire
Post by: Vicki on Nov 05, 2025, 02:27 PM
Such a good job getting the emotion across with minimal words.
Title: Re: The trap of your desire
Post by: Mora Amaro La Loba on Nov 05, 2025, 06:57 PM
Quote from: calafinestrat on Nov 05, 2025, 10:24 AMUnique style. Great video, I'm not sure I understand the lyrics completely - maybe somebody escaping from an abusive relationship and looking back with mixed emotions. Your voice is very similar to Marlene Dietrich.
The backing fits the lyrics and the voice very well. Nice job.
Yes, you are right @calafinestrat,
lyrics mean what you say.
Glad to see you feel and glad for commenting here.
Thank you, much appreciated
Title: Re: The trap of your desire
Post by: Mora Amaro La Loba on Nov 12, 2025, 08:57 AM
Quote from: Vicki on Nov 05, 2025, 02:27 PMSuch a good job getting the emotion across with minimal words.

Hola @Vicki
I've been waiting for replies to the songs but... the sleepiness that autumn brings has a long reach and has come this far, but I'm not asleep, so I'll take the plunge and reply, albeit belatedly, but you know why, to your lovely comment.
I hope you're well. What's your next song?

Big kisss

Mora
Title: Re: The trap of your desire
Post by: JJ Townley on Nov 14, 2025, 02:14 PM
Powerful video with a powerful message. Well done, Mora. It's a great idea to put this song with a video telling a story but the music can stand on its own merits. More composers should go the music video route. Good strong beat and unique voice helps strengthen the music's impact. Bravo.
Title: Re: The trap of your desire
Post by: Mora Amaro La Loba on Nov 21, 2025, 07:57 PM
Quote from: JJ Townley on Nov 14, 2025, 02:14 PMPowerful video with a powerful message. Well done, Mora. It's a great idea to put this song with a video telling a story but the music can stand on its own merits. More composers should go the music video route. Good strong beat and unique voice helps strengthen the music's impact. Bravo.

Forgive my delay in replying, I hadn't realized, I thought I already had... well, yes, I did comment on your video...
But today I rectify my mistake and thank you for your lengthy comment, and while I'm at it, I shake out the bag of dormant dreams.