Okay folks,
I have a set of incomplete and very rough draft here, I marked lines at the end with 2 left facing chevrons (<<) where I think it needs improvement, but can't think of anything. Oh the Hyphens' mid word are reminders to me on how I'm going to sing it. If anyone has any suggestions that might spark food for thought I'd very much appreciate it.
[Verse]
How could I know,
Why couldn't I just see it?
What would you say?
If you knew I even felt this way!
[Pre Chorus]
Turn the dark into light.
And then day to the night.
It might not be right!<<
Do you think it'd even be okay?<<
[Chorus]
I feel some things unfolding
I know a cold wind blowing.
Why am ju-st not go-ing.
I feel the cold winds now...
[Verse]
Tried to make wrongs right.<<
Oh Lo-rd, I re-ally tried.<<
What should I do
To I make these feelings go away!
[Pre Chorus ]
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
[Chorus]
Now I close my eyes
And wait for dawnin light.
Please don't go away,
brighten the darkest of my days.
@Billy_Lunch_Money – These lyrics are interesting and read well. I can imagine the song, but look forward to your track when its ready.
The only question I have:
"I know a cold wind blowing." # Did you mean "cold wind's blowing"?
If you meant 'wind' singular, as slang or to fit the meter, not a problem. Just asking.
Regarding the four lines you think may need improvement, shown below, let's look at those.
It might not be right!<<
Do you think it'd even be okay?<<
[...]
Tried to make wrongs right.<<
Oh Lo-rd, I re-ally tried.<<
Honestly, I see nothing wrong with those. Still, I get what you mean about questioning those yourself. I do the same. I listen to my full song and try to sense where the weakest lines are and try to make them better. From my perspective, the four lines you highlighted for possible improvement already read well and fit well in your lyrics, IMO. No changes needed.
The full set of lyrics work well! Good job! I look forward to hearing it set to music. ;D
Cheers,
Joseph
Ah nuts! Sorry I've got two files on the go and I keep cutting and pasting from one to other and then forget which is which, don't proof read anything and everything before hitting that "post" button. But yeah it is supposed to read "cold wind's blowing." Thanks man, it helps a lot as I'm kind of taking a different approach to writing the lyrics while playing the guitar parts instead of looping a section in my DAW or writing the lyrics first.
Quote from: Billy_Lunch_Money on May 28, 2026, 08:53 PMAh nuts! Sorry I've got two files on the go and I keep cutting and pasting from one to other and then forget which is which, don't proof read anything and everything before hitting that "post" button. But yeah it is supposed to read "cold wind's blowing." Thanks man, it helps a lot as I'm kind of taking a different approach to writing the lyrics while playing the guitar parts instead of looping a section in my DAW or writing the lyrics first.
LOL! No worries, man! I'm definitely not the grammar police, and I could easily imagine Robert Plant in his Led Zeppelin days rapidly screaming out "I felt a cold wind blowin' but my baby wuz smokin' hot!" LOL!!! 🤣😂
Grammar Police 8) That brings back some old old school memories. In my case a lack of memories. Every time my English teacher got onto the subject Grammar my eyes would glaze over and my brain turned off until the end of the lesson. I recently, tried reading up on it and low and behold I felt my eye start to glaze and brain fog up!
Hi.
I really like that first verse
It's really welcoming.
I can't imagine how the chorus would sound
Maybe it's effective
I don't know.
In all it looks to be in an early stage of development
Good luck with it.