Greetings all! These are the lyrics to a new song I've composed. I do have a full demo for it, but it's not quite ready at this time. I intend to finish the demo over the holidays and then have a new video produced for it.
I would appreciate constructive comments on the lyrics if anyone has any good ideas for specific changes. The track is an uptempo pop-rock song of the 80s genre. The theme is in support of a fictional horror novel I'm writing about a beautiful enchantress named Omega, and her lovely assistant named Hedra. Both are invincible and immortal. They are both empowered by the Greek Goddess of Strife and Discord, Eris. 8)
This song is composed from the perspective of a mortal man who falls in love with the adorable enchantress, Hedra. He's pledged his soul to her as she exacts revenge against a contemptible mortal woman with many transgressions in the world. Interestingly, the woman has always been afraid of 'monsters' under her bed and terrified that something 'other-worldly' would grab her legs and pull her under the bed into oblivion, and so Hedra makes her superstitions and worst fears come to life! :o
The lyrics align well with the melody and meter of the song.
Her Malevolence
Words and Music: Joseph Spain
Produced by: Joseph Spain
© 2024, 2025 Joseph Spain
song from the forthcoming horror novel "Omega's Dark: The Transference"
--Verse 1
You look but you don't see
You listen but don't hear
Your fingers trace love's heart across thin air
That you don't feel
--Verse 2
You count the stars in the sky
But you don't know their number
The waves crash over your head
But you don't know how far you're under
Pre-chorus 1
Dark of night strikes a fear
in your life and your heart
You're so close to the end
Her cruel magic enters in
--Chorus
Under your bed at night
Dark demons lurk there out of sight
Spirits and shadows come alive
Her malevolence claims your mind
The hush grows loud and clear
Your heart beats fast, your fate is here
Now let your legs hang over the side
So she'll drag you into the fire
--Release
Tonight, her malevolence takes your life
--Verse 3
It's a fight you can't win
You are froze in fear
Your body feels the scales of serpent skin
Your end is here
--Pre-chorus 2
And the night leaves you cold
As her bite leaves a mark
You know you're at the end
Her death magic unchains sin
(repeat chorus; then to bridge)
--Bridge
She's one part Heaven, two parts Hell
A blend of terror mixed so well
Your journey's bound for pain
You'll burn tonight
All my love for her saved my life
And Hedra will make you burn tonight
(repeat chorus through fade out)
I might consider some alterations to make the rhythm and rhyme scheme more consistent, but this is a very unstable theme, and those inconsistent elements support that. I would change the second line in verse 3, though, to "You're frozen in fear" for grammatical reasons.
I'm looking forward to hearing the finished product.
Vicki
@Vicki -- Thank you for taking the time to read my lyrics and comment. I appreciate your candor, thoughts, and opinions. :)
Regarding verse 3, I agree with you. I'll take your advice and change that line to 'You're frozen in fear', as it still fits the meter of the melody in that line. Nice suggestion! :)