Songwriter Forum

General Category => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: DarkoGiac on Dec 21, 2024, 09:29 PM

Title: Indie Slow Jam Demo
Post by: DarkoGiac on Dec 21, 2024, 09:29 PM
Hey all! Just looking for some feedback/critiques on this track:

darko-g-929800060 ยท standing-inside-demo

I guess the two things I'm concerned with the most are the vocals and the melody line. Are the vocals grating? (I know it comes down to personal prefs, but wondering what they sound like to you guys).

Any other thoughts are welcome too, of course :)

Thanks in advance!
Title: Re: Indie Slow Jam Demo
Post by: Vicki on Dec 23, 2024, 02:47 AM
I don't find the vocals grating at all, but they seem to be pretty far back in the mix so they're hard to hear. I can't make out most of the words, maybe partly because I have hearing issues, but if you brought the vocals more forward, I think it would help.

I think the melody is mostly okay, though I didn't notice a difference between chorus and verse; I'm not actually sure of the structure of your song--maybe it's through-composed (like one long verse)? It could use some buildup as it goes, maybe dropping back toward the end.

I hope this helps. If not, ignore it.

Vicki
Title: Re: Indie Slow Jam Demo
Post by: DarkoGiac on Dec 26, 2024, 06:54 PM
Quote from: Vicki on Dec 23, 2024, 02:47 AMI don't find the vocals grating at all, but they seem to be pretty far back in the mix so they're hard to hear. I can't make out most of the words, maybe partly because I have hearing issues, but if you brought the vocals more forward, I think it would help.

I think the melody is mostly okay, though I didn't notice a difference between chorus and verse; I'm not actually sure of the structure of your song--maybe it's through-composed (like one long verse)? It could use some buildup as it goes, maybe dropping back toward the end.

I hope this helps. If not, ignore it.

Vicki


Thanks for the feedback Vicki!
Title: Re: Indie Slow Jam Demo
Post by: Mora Amaro La Loba on Dec 27, 2024, 01:21 PM
I like the atmosphere of the song, I think that if you work on the mix a little more you will get the song to shine more, it is a good track, nice to listen to and relaxing despite the claps.
A little more equalization on the guitars or a different reverb delay? so that they have more presence not emphasizing trebles within the wave that surrounds the song and a little more equalization on the voice so that the story it tells can be better understood and that's it!!! Welcome to the club!
See you! @DarkoGiac
Title: Re: Indie Slow Jam Demo
Post by: ChrisPrice on Dec 29, 2024, 06:07 PM
Liking this from the off. Those claps are defintely way too loud to the point of being distracting. Nothing wrong with the vocals to my ears though I'd agree that they could come forward a bit more.

This is a really nice track. It just needs a bit of re-mixing. I enjoyed it as it stands.
Title: Re: Indie Slow Jam Demo
Post by: icystorm on Dec 30, 2024, 06:02 AM
@DarkoGiac -- Excellent track! The percussion, bass, and hand claps establish a solid and consistent groove. The vocals and lyrics are interesting and kept my attention throughout the song. I enjoyed listening! Nice work!
Title: Re: Indie Slow Jam Demo
Post by: Boydie on Jan 03, 2025, 05:50 PM
What a great vibe - I am getting 80s Prince vibes with the backing

The bass playing is particularly tasty - I would bring this up in the mix and tweak the kick drum pattern so that they really lock in

On to the vocal...

I think the vocals themselves are better than you think - I can hear that you have almost tried to "hide" them in the mix by panning them - I think you need to be brave and put the lead vocal straight down the middle - spookily, as I was typing this, a vocal suddenly appeared in the middle for a little while (at 3:40) and that completely changed the track for the better

I can also hear in your vocal that you are "holding back" - if I were producing you in the studio, I would be pushing you to really "sing out" and "over act" the vocal - I think if you did this you would dramatically improve the vocal - just GO FOR IT!!!

Overall, I loved the groove and feel of the track - and 10/10 for the bass playing!