Songwriter Forum

A quick composition and recording . Interested to see what people think. Grateful for any kind comments , feedback or advice.  Thank you

I like the concept of opening doors and windows, makes me think of opening myself to possibilities. I can't make out all the words (my fault, not yours--due to permanent loud ringing in my ears), so I'm not sure what the message actually is. If you post the words, I'll take another look. Tag me, if you do.

I really like the melody and simple instrumentation, and the cadence change-up is a nice choice for keeping the listener engaged. This reminds me of one of those short and lovely hidden tracks at the end of a great album.  Looking forward to hearing more.

Vicki and mattyyoungmusic, thanks so much for taking the time to,listen and leave me such encouraging comments. I'm glad I posted it. Here are the lyrics, though I'm not sure how to tag anyone.

Doors and windows

I spend my time,
opening doors and windows
But where they lead ,
well, nobody knows.

I've seen the light
Opening doors and windows
But when it shines
Well, I'm just not sure

I've been Dealing with the here and now
I know you can't see me now
Trying to get your meaning
But i can't shake the feeling
That you're coming from a dark place
And Casting shadows into my space

You should seek to understand before you start preaching
I see where you're coming from
Just save me all the screeching
And Why is it that my words
Just betray their meaning?

I've seen the light
Opening doors and windows
But when it shines
Well, I'm just not sure

I spend my time,
opening doors and windows
But where they lead ,
well, nobody knows.
No
Nobody knows

You're welcome.

1. You can tag someone by typing @ before their user ID. So I would tag you like this: @Jim akh

2. I have one suggestion for the lyrics; one verse starts like this:
I've been Dealing with the here and now
I know you can't see me now

Instead of rhyming "now" with itself, I would try to find another way. For instance, you could say,
I've been dealing with the here and now
And it would help if you could show me how

Something like that. Otherwise, I like the image of "opening doors and windows" as I mentioned earlier.

@Jim akh -- Welcome to the forum! Your composition has a country-folk atmosphere to it with interesting lyrics. I think the best lines are:

I've been Dealing with the here and now
I know you can't see me now
Trying to get your meaning
But i can't shake the feeling
That you're coming from a dark place
And Casting shadows into my space

Good stuff! Are you influenced by Bob Dylan?

I enjoyed listening and look forward to hearing your next song! :D

Also, I hope you check out some of the other songs in the forum. @Vicki, @Mora Amaro La Loba, @Nick Ryder, and @ChrisPrice are just a few of the talented artists who have shared their excellent songs here. :D   

Cheers,
Joseph
 

Bob Dylan has already had a mention and I agree with @icystorm about the lyrics. I get the comparison with Dylan though I'd say that this is more melodic!

Yes, welcome aboard. Look forward to hearing more. :)

It's a simple song, early stages.
Quite warm, and it really has nice moments

I like the 1st two verses
But 3 & 4 verses is where it's at, the heart of the song.

Will you continue with it?
The finished song might be worth it.