[giitlesriddles]

Hey guys
     This song is sorta an expirement. I'm trying to merge standard rock with jazz by adding jazz voicings in the chords. The song its self is not about a particular person but rather a bunch of people who fall into the same kind of mindset.
    These are the lyrics.

Look at me
I can't even see your eyes
shrunken cold and shy
shining black as night

And you're gone
Didn't even put up a fight
before your fall before your flight
and that's wrong

You're the one who said that silence kept you strong

And you said

"I'm a bullet trapped inside a gun, I cannot help the fact I'll cause you pain
Can't you see what I've become? I beg you to take this chance and try and run away
Tellin the truth just ain't my kinda fun so go ahead and find someone who may
Don't tell me that I'm not done, I am shunned yeah, your eyes give it away"

And you're scared
If I Saw below your mask
how could you run, yeah you'd be trapped.
And that is why you can't afford to care

Storm clouds brewin, in those empty eyes
Is your skin a disguise?
If it's peeled what will I find?
Are you revered or idolized?
Are you feared? Are you despised?
Can you feel? Can you cry?
Are you real are you a lie?
Is your soul trapped inside
that cage which you hide
deep within your mind?
Deep within your mind
You tell me that you're nothing
but tell me if you're nothing what am I?

I see it all the time

And you said

"I'm a bullet trapped inside a gun, I cannot help the fact I'll cause you pain
Can't you see what I've become? I beg you to take this chance and try and run away
Tellin the truth just ain't my kinda fun so go ahead and find someone who may
Don't tell me that I'm not done, I am shunned yeah, your eyes give it away"

[diademgrove]

You have some great words and some of the music worked, particularly the "And you said" section (chorus?). I found the changes between musical styles disorientating and they took my attention away from the words.

I was confused about who was staying and who was running as well. In the beginning the other person had run away, but the "And you said" implies they are still there telling you to run.

If you disagree please ignore me.

Keith

[pompeyjazz]

Hi - I can see where your going with this. It's not instantly accessible but it doesn't have to be. I like the fusion aspect and you have done well to fit all the quite complicated lyrics to the music.

Like it

John

[giitlesriddles]

Hey keith,
Thanks for listening,
To answer the running question, the song was about a girl who sort of hides when anybody cares, but she flirts really aggressively. Simultaneously, warning that if you get too close, she'll probably hurt you, hence telling the listener to run away.
Hopefully that helps.