I LOVE the idea of this and the chorus is brilliant.. I especially love the line about the noose.. I think with a little bit of re-imagining this could be brilliant! 
Thank you for your encouraging input.
My problem with this one is that I've hit a wall. . . and it's so far down my list to add music to that it's likely that I won't get to it. If you are a musician and think you could perform that "re-imagining" through the music and a few lyrical changes, please feel free.
