[Morefrog Jones]

https://soundcloud.com/morefrog-jones/narcisistica-rough-demo-1

Hi This is Narcisistica - A made up word - But was going to go with Narisistic Girl?

Vocals need re- doing as there is a certain amount of cut and paste and a few coughs with it at present and I have not the correct phrasing on vocals as some of it was made up as I went along .......but the biggest question for me is it too short - I have written and Bridge/Ending But I was going for the Menacing and Dark with the song and quite liked the sudden ending.
Any Thoughts


"Narcissistica"

I though there may have been more to you than meets the eye.
But your shallow depths could barely touch a Turner sky.
I watch you following the spotlight around.
Jumping out of the shadows
trying to bask in the glory of someone else's crown.

Na Na Na Na Na Nar - cissistica
Na Na Na Na Na Nar - cissistica
Na Na Na Na Na Nar - cissistica

Ive wasted too much time despite all of my concerns.
But I think Ive reached the point where i have to break the law of Diminishing Returns.
You wont be told no matter how I try
That the world doesn't revolve around you
Thats a Galileio Lie.


Na Na Na Na Na Nar - cissistica
Na Na Na Na Na Nar - cissistica
Na Na Na Na Na Nar - cissistica

[man of simple pleasures]

pretty cool man! bit bobby gillespie on vocals in there, def primal scream vibe! cant beat a few na na na's haha! nice one!

[CaliaMoko]

Boy, I can't make up lyrics as I go along like that. 

If you hadn't mentioned the sudden ending, I would have assumed it was a mistake. It doesn't sound deliberate. My personal opinion is that it doesn't work as it is, but that's just me. I can see why it supports a menacing feel.

I think the words are good--could maybe be tightened up a little but, really, for me they're good as they are. I have no trouble understanding the message of the lyric.

I like your made up word! 

Vicki

[pompeyjazz]

Lots to like here Morefrog. Some clever stuff going on. Bass drives it along nicely and love the little synth interludes. Clever use of rhythms' in the chorus. Maybe the ending is a bit abrupt but then again maybe not. Only suggestion would maybe a vocs and drums (and maybe bass) chorus section before a final mad chorus with everything piled on. Only suggestions anyway. Good stuff. John

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Hi Morefrog

Is this a reworking....rings a bell that title...saying this just in case I said it was crap last time and I look like an idiot this time. I'll use Nooms' line 'I may not believe this tomorrow' or whatever it is cos I love it this time.

The verse is great. Very Morefrog. Very lots of things that have influenced Morefrog and I really like it a lot. Great delivery. Like the lyric made up on the spot or not...ok, I will like it when it's finalised, I know that.

First listen (this time anyway, if indeed there was a last time) I thought 'ooh, I'm not sure about that, think the na na nas should be fewer and more drawn out. 2nd listen seemed fine and I think my main reservation was the word 'Narcissistica' itself but a few more listens in and i'm living with that all right now.

My advice for what it's worth on what you've got so far is to go straight into the chorus 2nd time around. You've had the suspense bit after the first verse. We know what's coming now so you don't need to hold it back 2nd time.

Arrangementwise...love the bubbly synth things and the big sound in the chorus.

I'd go for some sort of this-is-the-bit-that-really-does-my-head-in-and-I've-forgotten-who-I-am instrumental passage after the 2nd chorus then come back with repeated choruses until we're sated and need a thorough rest so if it was on a mix tape you need something like Woodstock by Matthew's Southern Comfort to get rebalanced.

Good stuff.

[Morefrog Jones]

Hi Morefrog

Is this a reworking....rings a bell that title...saying this just in case I said it was crap last time and I look like an idiot this time. I'll use Nooms' line 'I may not believe this tomorrow' or whatever it is cos I love it this time.

The verse is great. Very Morefrog. Very lots of things that have influenced Morefrog and I really like it a lot. Great delivery. Like the lyric made up on the spot or not...ok, I will like it when it's finalised, I know that.

First listen (this time anyway, if indeed there was a last time) I thought 'ooh, I'm not sure about that, think the na na nas should be fewer and more drawn out. 2nd listen seemed fine and I think my main reservation was the word 'Narcissistica' itself but a few more listens in and i'm living with that all right now.

My advice for what it's worth on what you've got so far is to go straight into the chorus 2nd time around. You've had the suspense bit after the first verse. We know what's coming now so you don't need to hold it back 2nd time.

Arrangementwise...love the bubbly synth things and the big sound in the chorus.

I'd go for some sort of this-is-the-bit-that-really-does-my-head-in-and-I've-forgotten-who-I-am instrumental passage after the 2nd chorus then come back with repeated choruses until we're sated and need a thorough rest so if it was on a mix tape you need something like Woodstock by Matthew's Southern Comfort to get rebalanced.

Good stuff.

Cheers Viscount
I posted The Lyrics in the Lyrics only section about a Year ago - So you have a good memory   and some good advice ....as soon as I read it - You made complete sense and will try your suggestions out.

[ScottLevi]

Very nice indeed, exciting stuff.

The repeats at the end of the chorus' were the only bits that didn't get me going, wonderful overall though.

All the best,
Scott