×
Login
Remember me
Toggle navigation
Guest
Login
Register
Home
Login
Register
The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum
Feedback on Finished songs
On The Move
« previous
next »
Print
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
On The Move
10 Replies
414 Views
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
calafinestrat
Open Mic
Posts: 103
On The Move
«
on:
June 09, 2024, 12:21:08 PM »
Soundcloud link
https://tinyurl.com/hmekjpfh
This is my attempt at a driving song. Should be sung in a Texas drawl ideally but I don't have that.
Lyrics:
Verse 1
Standing on a corner
I'm trying to hitch a ride
Heading down to Texas
On highway thirty five
Winds are blowing cold
I think it's gonna snow
I'm leaving Minessota
For the gulf of Mexico
Gotta find the blue sky
Moving's in my soul
Need a shot of sunshine
Some Texas rock and roll
Chorus rpt twice
I'm a traveling man
I'm on the move again
Gonna do what I can
Get in the groove again
Verse 2
Working since October
Been mining iron ore
In Hibbing Minnessota
Chilled me to the core
Saved up all my money
Now it's time to get away
Find myself a beach bar
Soaking up the rays
Got to get to Texas
Have myself some fun
Maybe find a beach babe
Lying in the sun
Chorus rpt twice
I'm a traveling man
I'm on the move again
Gonna do what I can
Get in the groove again
Logged
Maya Clars
Platinum Album
Posts: 506
Follow me on Instagram (@mayaclars)
Re: On The Move
«
Reply #1 on:
June 11, 2024, 03:22:37 PM »
@calafinestrat
Cool rock and roll! For my taste mastering needs a bit more work, but this is just my opinion.
MC
Logged
Website:
http://mayaclars.com
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/2r4W69vc3shiGXJ7d5sy6e
Youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuUX9kPJhTIGrsSYS31WyXA
calafinestrat
Open Mic
Posts: 103
Re: On The Move
«
Reply #2 on:
June 11, 2024, 04:33:50 PM »
@Maya Clars
Thanks for the feedback Maya. You're probably right about the mixing, I never seem to get it right.
Logged
rightly
Stadium Tour
Posts: 2031
newer Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/2rightly
Re: On The Move
«
Reply #3 on:
June 12, 2024, 08:31:35 AM »
Straight forward rock n roll with some nice lyrics
And a charming solo.
Sounds like you had fun doing this. Nice one
The picture is pretty awful, misleading.
Logged
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other.
I can promise you a future of slow decline.
Don't eat the yellow snow
And there you have it.
https://soundcloud.com/2rightly
https://soundcloud.com/rightly
calafinestrat
Open Mic
Posts: 103
Re: On The Move
«
Reply #4 on:
June 13, 2024, 05:09:10 PM »
@rightly
Hi, thanks for the feedback. Yes really enjoyed doing this one. The picture was AI generated, I'll have another go.
Logged
calafinestrat
Open Mic
Posts: 103
Re: On The Move
«
Reply #5 on:
June 13, 2024, 06:01:17 PM »
@rightly
Image changed, hope you like it.
Logged
rightly
Stadium Tour
Posts: 2031
newer Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/2rightly
Re: On The Move
«
Reply #6 on:
June 13, 2024, 11:27:38 PM »
Quote from: calafinestrat on June 13, 2024, 06:01:17 PM
@rightly
Image changed, hope you like it.
Terrible. But I don't know if it's worse. 😆
Logged
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other.
I can promise you a future of slow decline.
Don't eat the yellow snow
And there you have it.
https://soundcloud.com/2rightly
https://soundcloud.com/rightly
calafinestrat
Open Mic
Posts: 103
Re: On The Move
«
Reply #7 on:
June 14, 2024, 06:33:14 AM »
@rightly
Ah well, can't win em all. Stay cool.
Logged
Elvis Nash
Platinum Album
Posts: 512
https://nashvillecalifornia.com/listen-page/
Re: On The Move
«
Reply #8 on:
June 14, 2024, 12:43:40 PM »
I don't think it needs a Texas drawl, You nail it just fine , It sure is a rocker man , Its a in fast lane with the top down song
Nice job man !!!
Logged
https://www.facebook.com/elvisnashofficial/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXvPS3XP6d9a0EruAyxlv_g
https://nashvillecalifornia.com/
moraamarolaloba
Stadium Tour
Posts: 2111
Re: On The Move
«
Reply #9 on:
June 14, 2024, 12:44:18 PM »
Hola
@calafinestrat
I liked it a lot, really catchy song and rhythm, a nice ride to the sun!!!!
Logged
I did not know that to live we had to die so many times
My Youtube Channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow
calafinestrat
Open Mic
Posts: 103
Re: On The Move
«
Reply #10 on:
June 14, 2024, 03:44:42 PM »
@Elvis Nash
Thanks for the nice feedback glad you enjoyed it.
@moraamarolaloba
Thank you. The weather is so awful here, I felt inspired to write something about my younger days when my friend and I hitchhiked around Europe in the summer of 1970.Long sunny days.
Logged
Print
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
« previous
next »