[evanjavo]

Hey, all. This is a new song I've been inspired to finish and record. I've had the melody and words for a while now, but I never got around to finishing it. I've always thought it had a lot potential when I was writing it on Guitar Hero, and when the words finally clicked and I came up with a worthy chorus, it all just got me hooked. So on my one day off, I've been determined to record at least some half decent vocals brought to you by yours truly, and put it out to share with you guys. I hope you enjoy and give some feedback. Overall, I'm very proud of it and I hope to be more active on the forum again very soon.

http://soundcloud.com/revolve4round/come-alive-demo

You make my world come alive
But in a way, it's even harder to survive
They say the truth sets you free
But in a way, it's even harder to believe

Like sunshine through the shade, I'm afraid
That it's all see through
I'll take us further away, 'our escape'
But it's all see through

I pick you up when you're down
But in a way, I'm the one that's on the ground
They say that God holds the key
But in a way, I'm the devil inside me

But we can't be the same again

* The lyrics may be a bit heartbreaking and dark but they're influenced a little by the American drama series, Breaking Bad, which is an amazing show. If you haven't got around to watching it then please do so asap.

[evanjavo]

Sorry to bump up my own song, but I'd just really like to get some feedback on it. I know my production skills aren't that good and neither are my vocals, but just recently I've started to take my creations from Guitar Hero and implement my vocals to them. It's a new and challenging way of presenting my songs to you guys. I never knew how hard it was so hats off to you guys who record and produce music. I have much more respect for the dedication put into the process, but it's worth it, no doubt.

[HillbillyJim]

I quite like this. I don't know if it's just 'cause your avatar is a splitting image of a young Liam Gallagher, but it feels to me like there's a lot Oasis going on, especially '(It's Good) To Be Free' - the tempo, the chords, the melody. Even a little nod in the lyric - "... truth ... harder to believe." (Is that intentional? - 'Don't Believe the Truth' etc.) and I think the biblical reference ties in nicely too ("... set you free"). I'm not sure about the second / fourth line in the chorus, "It's all see through." I don't know quite what's wrong with it, I guess it just sounds a bit unpoetic? It does work though.

Is the idea that the backing track is from Guitar Hero, and the vocals have been recorded on top? The drum sound gets on my nerves a bit, but I appreciate there's a not a lot you can do about it in a rush!

I like the melody. I do think it would benefit quite a bit from a harmony on top in the chorus.

[evanjavo]

I quite like this. I don't know if it's just 'cause your avatar is a splitting image of a young Liam Gallagher, but it feels to me like there's a lot Oasis going on, especially '(It's Good) To Be Free' - the tempo, the chords, the melody. Even a little nod in the lyric - "... truth ... harder to believe." (Is that intentional? - 'Don't Believe the Truth' etc.) and I think the biblical reference ties in nicely too ("... set you free"). I'm not sure about the second / fourth line in the chorus, "It's all see through." I don't know quite what's wrong with it, I guess it just sounds a bit unpoetic? It does work though.

Is the idea that the backing track is from Guitar Hero, and the vocals have been recorded on top? The drum sound gets on my nerves a bit, but I appreciate there's a not a lot you can do about it in a rush!

I like the melody. I do think it would benefit quite a bit from a harmony on top in the chorus.

Thanks. Yeah, the Oasis influence is definitely there but as in a direct relation to "It's Good To Be Free"? Not quite.. Lol. As I said the lyrics are heavily influenced by the plot and situations that the main character goes through in the show Breaking Bad. The lyrics are what I think the character is thinking/feeling most of the time.

That's right. I just put my vocals over a recording of the GH track. I tried my best putting up backing harmonies that meshed well together. I'm new to this so I've got some learning to do lol

[HillbillyJim]

Sorry I didn't mean the lyric reminds me of 'Good to be Free' - it's the music, especially the intro. The style of the guitar playing is uncanny. My bad about the harmony! I wasn't sure if you'd just double tracked it. I do think the top line could be more prominent though, as I say, I can hardly hear it What I like to do with writing harmonies, it really helps if you can read/write music, or at least a guitar tab, and work out which notes you're singing, tab it out against the chords, and try and kind of fill in the chord tones on paper and join up the dots. It probably won't be perfect but it's always a fair start and it means you don't have to just conceive it in your imagination out of nothing. Might be worth a try. Hopefully I'm making some sense!

[Apophenia]

Great stuff.  I enjoyed it.  Yea the see through park in the lyrics sounds a little off to me.  Maybe there could be a better way that.  But, overall good job man.

[James Nighthawk]

I wonder if the lack of reviews for this is due to the Guitar Hero Factor?

I play these games sometime. They are great drunken party games! But I had no idea you could compose with them? Are you taking pre-existing loops and gluing them together, or is each note/drum hit programmed in individually.

If this is loop programming, then this is more an act of copy/pasting than writing. I wonder if that is why people are skimming over your review?


Ignoring this issue:

This is a pleasant enough Oasis influenced song. The vocal is ropey as you say. But my primary issue is a general lack of hookiness. I am not sure where the parts are or where I am being taken, it is all very one level.

The Hi hat is very splashy and too prominent

Melodically it doesn't move around very much, relying on the chord tonic too much, making the lines very uninvolving

The guitar licks are quite cool, circular and loopy, a little hypnotic which suits the style. But then the mind wonders whether there are yours or Neversofts...

[evanjavo]

Thanks for the comments, guys. Much appreciated!

Idk if it's the Guitar Hero factor or what, but none of it is pre-existing loops. Each instrument is done by me, note by note. A lot of time is put into it, to say the least.

[man of simple pleasures]

i would rather hear this just on an acoustic, the drum symbol spoils it, i get what ya trying to do build ya songs up using guitar hero but am a bit put of by it altho saying that i dont know much about it! the electric guitar bits you playing them with a proper guitar or the plastic things with the buttons?

[refusedrevival]

I listened the song couple of times and I enjoyed it.
I think that hihat is mixed little bit too up. It covers the nice guitar melody.

I really like this kind of music.

[evanjavo]

Thanks y'all, I appreciate it. I think I'm gonna give this a go acoustically, I haven't even attempted it yet.

That high hat you guys hear, I'm assuming the chorus, is actually the crash being hit over and over again. I do that to make the chorus stand out a bit, but I do realize that it's a bit loud. Especially if youre listening to it on full blast.

But I'll go back and re record the music for this version, and give an acoustic version a try.

Thanks again everybody.