[Jane99]

HI:)
'If I Could' is an apologie which came too late..
hope you like it and please tell me what you think thx:)

Lyrics:

one step forward, letting it all go
without thinking, everything i ever needed is gone
and one thing for sure+it wont come back

I would turn around, saying I'm sorry for going away, letting you down
Oh I would, If I could
I guess I'm the one to blame because I left you crying on the ground
I would be begging for forgiveness on the ground
Oh I would, If I could

It could'nt work out, so I left
without regretting it now, but I never wanted to
hurt you like this, to bring you down
like this

I would turn around, saying I'm sorry for going away, letting you down
Oh I would, If I could
I guess I'm the one to blame because I left you crying on the ground
I would be begging for forgiveness on the ground
Oh I would, If I could

Now you're gone, an angel in the sky
all the years I wanted to saay sorry but i never did
now there's no chance to say sorry
i would give anything just to have one mor conversation with you

I would turn around, saying I'm sorry for going away, letting you down
Oh I would, If I could
I guess I'm the one to blame because I left you crying on the ground
I would be begging for forgiveness on the ground
Oh I would, If I could

if i could, if i could
oh i would, if i could

[Gallowglass]

I have a greater tolerance than most because I'm an avid Gaslight fan, but this will come up in criticism a lot.

I guess I'm the one to blame because I left you crying on the ground
I would be begging for forgiveness on the ground

It might work musically, but lyrically it strikes one as lazy. Better have no rhyme or a half-rhyme than a repeated one.

It's redeemed by the later occurence of the same in another verse, which lends it its poignancy, but will still put many off.

[hardtwistmusic]

This is good jane, but it's not finished.  It's nowhere near your best work, and there isn't any reason it can't be.  It's a marvelous concept, and the "I would if I could" line has tremendous potential for a dramatic vocal melody. 

But this just isn't crafted yet.  It's written, but not really "worked on" like it needs to be. 

This can be as good as your best stuff.  But it isn't yet.

[Lane1777]

hi Jane, had to look at this right away. I have a song with the same title, and along the same lines as this. it was written over a conversation with a friend. almost redemption" but I looked in his eyes and there ..love, loss hope and fear. he kept saying..if I could...lol I thought the three words said something about all those emotions.

keep at this, it will make a song I think. I`ll put my song on if you want to hear. I`ve found about 5 songs with that title. Cher, Simone, and some others.

[Thomas Frederick]

Totally echo what other people have said; it's quite good, but it's not absolutely amazing...

I do love the general theme you're going with, but that one repeated rhyme does put me off a bit, as Gallowgas said.

That being said, I adoooooore this bit;
"Now you're gone, an angel in the sky
all the years I wanted to saay sorry but i never did
now there's no chance to say sorry
i would give anything just to have one mor conversation with you"

I don't know what it is about this bit that I love, it just works well for me personally...

So overall, this is a decent piece but with a good bit of tweaking I'm sure it will be fabulous.

[Scarriff]

Wow, great song, my favourite part of it strangely enough is the title, I don't know there's just something I like about it... "If I Could" are 3 very powerful words

[Nellie]

Hiii! I liked this especially because it carries so many emotions! I quite like it when you can 'feel a song', if you know what I mean haha You can fix it a little bit if you want and feel it needs to be improved, but I deffo liked it as it already is.