[Bernd]

I first wanted to call it "foreign affairs" - but I'll reserve that particular title for something quite different ;-)

you spend so much on foreign aid
so third world countries can buy your surplus crap
you have your fund-raising campaigns
TV shows with starving kids and tattered chaps

you sell rockets, and you sell bombs
to shed some crocodile tears when they hit
civilians who would need your help
are sent some junk food and pharmaceutic(al) shit

too little truth in your countless words
your sympathy lacks honesty
too many lies told with faithful eyes
your diplomacy pure hypocrisy

you say that you must not take sides
your profit comes from both parties involved
they would not listen to your advice
better if their conflicts remain unresolved

too little truth in your countless words
your sympathy lacks honesty
too many lies told with faithful eyes
your diplomacy pure hypocrisy

[EpiphoneEpiphany]

hey

pretty straightforward but good

really nice how you have not a single common or overused rhyme in there but lots of unusual fresh ones

I think this would work best as a folk song

cheers

EE

[Arkwright]

I like the subject matter and it's good to see lyrics with a bit of social commentary.

I'm a little confused as to whether there's a chorus, but have assumed it's this as you've used it twice:

too little truth in your countless words
your sympathy lacks honesty
too many lies told with faithful eyes
your diplomacy pure hypocrisy

if this is the chorus, I would have liked it to be a bit more distinct from the verses.

I agree there's a nice use of unusual  rhymes.

Good work

[benjo]

 HEY BERND

 this is a powerful heart felt statement and i loved the words you use to make your point
 you speak a lot of truth,

 i did struggle to find a rhythm to the verses and the chorus
 the verse you used twice, although i can imagine some strong
 driving beat to this

 I WANT TO HEAR THE MUSIC HOPE IT GETS SOME COS I THINK IT COULD BE GOOD

                                  nice write

[Gwyneth Rose]

I first wanted to call it "foreign affairs" - but I'll reserve that particular title for something quite different ;-)

you spend so much on foreign aid
so third world countries can buy your surplus crap
you have your fund-raising campaigns
TV shows with starving kids and tattered chaps

you sell rockets, and you sell bombs
to shed some crocodile tears when they hit
civilians who would need your help
are sent some junk food and pharmaceutic(al) shit

too little truth in your countless words
your sympathy lacks honesty
too many lies told with faithful eyes
your diplomacy pure hypocrisy

you say that you must not take sides
your profit comes from both parties involved
you would not listen to your advice
better if their confict remains unresolved

too little truth in your countless words
your sympathy lacks honesty
too many lies told with faithful eyes
your diplomacy pure hypocrisy

Hi B

Excellent write about the "Thugs in suits and ties" that run things. Very powerful message.

Cheers
G

[Dutchbeat]

Ha that is good,for me the line "too many lies told with faithless eyes" sticks out particularly

that line has a great flow in my mind (as well as many of the other lines)

[Bernd]

In my line it reads "faithful", actually. And, of course, I mean a faked faithfulness - so it would be "faithless" if one looked more keenly, I guess.

The rhyming pattern is XAXA all over (although there happen to be additional half rhymes in the verses, maybe I can replace either "bombs" or "help", too - not sure, though). This makes verse and chorus rather similar. That's a trap I often fall into: once in writing or rhyming mode I tend to use the same pattern throughout, I must force myself to vary it - if I remember to. Fortunately, I have these long lines in the verses that make it impossible to use the same tune (in my mind I heard some angry, Dylanish speech-song there).

Thanks for your comments.

Bernd

I fixed a few mistakes, as you can tell when comparing the citations with the text.