[ImWaffle]

I'd like to gather feedback on the first verse and the first chorus draft before I go any further.

This time the title is going in the lyrics, but towards the end.

Your tongue runs laps, round wet winding tracks
Giving dictionaries, heart attacks
While the novels and pamphlets orbit your charming wit

Your sunny side's, where we love to reside
To listen to you sing, such baritone delights
See how our chests swell so much from your slightest touch

The thunder from your throat
And the ice in your eyes
Threaten to sink my boat
And leave me terrified

[Bleedin Boy]

Nice title. I like how the chorus changes into what seems like a faster pace as the content becomes more serious. Giving dictionaries heart attacks is a great lyric too.

[sephsleft06]

I like it...

but what's that about dictionaries etc?

[ImWaffle]

I like it...

but what's that about dictionaries etc?

The character being sung about is good with words. Dictionaries are genereally associated as being authority figures on words and their uses. So by giving them heart attacks he's trumping them. In people terms, he makes smart people look not so smart.

Pamphlets contain very little information, often just the main points without any details. In people terms, people who are shallow and have limited knowledge. Novels are fiction and poetic, in people terms they're idealistic. They are drawn to the character because of how charismatic he is, thus, orbiting his charming wit.

Thanks for asking, always fun to explain my lyrics.

[ImWaffle]

Nice title. I like how the chorus changes into what seems like a faster pace as the content becomes more serious. Giving dictionaries heart attacks is a great lyric too.

The title is a play on words. You see, the song is about my father.

Glad you like it though

[Matthew Hickman]

I'm new to these forums and I have to say these lyrics aren't half that bad. Good job!

[ImWaffle]

Thanks.