[PopTodd]

I wrote this lyric when I was in a particularly foul mood one day, thinking about a band that I had been forced out of (my own).

I wrote this as a response to a song called "Over and Over" that my former bandmate (with whom I have mended fences) wrote about me, years earlier when he thought that I had forced him out of another band that we were in together. (Some of the lines are direct responses to lines in his song.)

We are once again very good friends. But now we know better than to play together.

No music for this one yet. But I just dug it up and am thinking about maybe writing some.
Or, maybe a collab?

“Over and Over, Again and Again”

If I broke your wings or bound your feet
You snapped my spine in two
It’s over and over, again and again
I guess it’s never through with you
Now I’ve felt your pain and I’ve felt your wrath
And I hope that you feel better
But are these halos still intact?
And did our friendship matter?

I’m easily swapped, it’s easily proved
I guess you showed who’s who
I’m pushed under and under again and again
I guess it’s never through with you
You said it was a tete a tete
And I hope you think you won
But are our halos still intact?
And are you happy that I’m gone?

Soaring high with a broken halo
Are you happy now?
Reach new heights on mended wings
Yeah, are you happy now?
I guess you really showed me how.

You just assumed that you’d grab the reins
And I’d be your number two
Pulling back and pushing forth
I guess it’s never through with you
I had no binds and I had no need to ever hold you back
I guess you guessed that you knew better
But don’t tell me who I am

Soaring high with a broken halo
Are you happy now?
Reach new heights on mended wings
Yeah, are you happy now?
I guess you really showed me how.

It’s over and over, again and again…

©2007 Todd Leiter-Weintraub

[Gallowglass]

There's something about anger that makes anything you're working on ten times better. This song's not an exception  Some fantastic turns of phrase in here and tense, terse, concise exposition.

I also like the way it's not explicitly about being forced out a band. That generality means anyone who's ever been frustrated or betrayed by someone they expected more from can connect to it. For instance, this is a very similar song to yours (in lyrical content and subject matter) that's meant to be about band betrayal, and it remains one of Nightwish's biggest hits because of universal appeal (that chorus...).

One thing I didn't like so much was how the chorus's presence was so intermittent, and the verses were so long (especially where they double-up). The consistency of 'it's never through with you' does help to maintain structure and the listener's interest, though, so it's not that big a deal, and with the right music and meter it might not be a problem at all. Unless you want to write commercially, where the right structure is vitally important.

Oh,

Or, maybe a collab?

If you need someone to do a bassline for any genre (except maybe heavy funk) I'm game

[Nellie]

Hiiii. This is amazing! I like how you used the expression ''tete a tete'', and made it work. You wanted to convey your message/emotions and you absolutely achieved the desired result! I liked reading this and especially enjoyed the verses. I'm just wondering are you talking about yourself here or your friend? ''Soaring high with a broken halo'' and ''Reach new heights on mended wings''. I thought it was about you and liked the idea of being down, then getting up again. Anyway, this is nicely done and I would like to hear it with music (what kind of genre does it fall under?). Great job!!

[PopTodd]

Hiiii. This is amazing! I like how you used the expression ''tete a tete'', and made it work. You wanted to convey your message/emotions and you absolutely achieved the desired result! I liked reading this and especially enjoyed the verses. I'm just wondering are you talking about yourself here or your friend? ''Soaring high with a broken halo'' and ''Reach new heights on mended wings''. I thought it was about you and liked the idea of being down, then getting up again. Anyway, this is nicely done and I would like to hear it with music (what kind of genre does it fall under?). Great job!!

I intended those lines to be about either one of us. After all, in a situation like this, nobody is blameless.

I guess the genre that I am thinking about for this is probably some neo-psychedelic rock. (After all, that is my friend's chosen genre.)
I also think that something kinda drone-y would more-easily accommodate a lyric  as busy as this one.

And thank you so much for the kind words.

[Paulski]

Nice one!
I esp liked all the near rhymes in this - wrath/intact - better/matter to name a few.
You get to the theme fast (line 3!) so I don't think delaying the chorus is a problem.
The only thing I'd change is the title - should be "It's Over Again" or "We're Over Again"
Nice one!
Paul
PS - above comment is a "Nice One!" sandwich

[PopTodd]

Nice one!
I esp liked all the near rhymes in this - wrath/intact - better/matter to name a few.
You get to the theme fast (line 3!) so I don't think delaying the chorus is a problem.
The only thing I'd change is the title - should be "It's Over Again" or "We're Over Again"
Nice one!
Paul
PS - above comment is a "Nice One!" sandwich

Thanks!
(PS - The title is a play on the title of one of my friend's songs, called "Over and Over" about the breakup of a previous band that we were in together.)

[Vintage54]

      Get it off your chest man, you'll feel a whole lot better. "How do you sleep" meets "Positively 4th street" Like it, like it like, like it. Great ending, you saved the hardest punch for last, "But dont tell me who i am" POW! You should get kicked out of bands more often.

                                Vintage54

[jonpromos]

I like how you brought over rhymes from a previous verse to the next. Good stuff. Hard rhymes are far and few. You could use more. Nice imagery. This would make a good alt-rock number. But not much is psychedelic about this. I don't think. Unless someone got kicked out of the band for LSD.

That's my input. But ultimately an artist's inner most instincts are always right. So write what you're comfortable with.

[PopTodd]

Thanks, folks!

And, I was thinking psych because that is the main style of the guy about whom the song is written. But, if I can't make it work, I won't force it.
 

Thanks so much for some more great feedback!