[benjo]

  HEY GUYS

  this is about a guy who has had it all and blew it
  hopefully the story will tell itself

           THANK YOU FOR ANY FEED BACK ON THE LYRIC


      



    SLEEPING UNDER THE STARS
      ------ = = ------ = = ------


 sleeping under the stars
 keeping warm by the fire
 feeling lost and alone
 I roll a smoke n get high

 sleeping under the stars
 followed close by my past
 haunted by the memories
 of the life that I've lost

 I'll learn my lesson the hard way
 now I've got nothing but me
 tired eyes full of dust and tears
 broken cold hearts don't dream

 I've got to learn to say no
 women whiskey and cards
 I've gotta search for my soul
 somewhere out there in the dark
 I've gotta learn to say no
 women whiskey and cards
 every one I've let down
 oh all those broken hearts

 sleeping under the stars
 cardboard's damp and it's cold
 only a bottle to hold on to
 I wake up feeling so old

 I had it all and I blew it
 couldn't walk past the bars
 she packed my beat up suitcase
 now I'm sleeping under the stars

 I'll learn my lesson the hard way
 now I've got nothing but me
 tired eyes full of dust and tears
 broken cold hearts don't dream

 I've got to learn to say no
 women whiskey and cards
 I've gotta search for my soul
 somewhere out there in the dark
 I've gotta learn to say no
 women whiskey and cards
 every one I've let down
 oh all those broken hearts

 sleeping under the stars
 sleeping under the stars



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[Paulski]

Hey Tony
Another sad soul story - you're rippin my heart out man!
Loved the chorus in this - "gotta learn to say no" - ha - but he never does hehe.
Also lovin those near rhymes - past/lost - who'd ah thought?
No nits from me here - just standin back and admiring!
Now you've gotta get Pat to do this one too....
cheers from the cold-lands.
Paul

[Vintage54]

         Benjo!
           I like this , but im a little confused. Has this guy hit rock bottom, or is he just down and out for one night? " I roll a smoke n get high" suggests money in his pocket. "Ive got to learn to say no" suggests the same, if he's got nothing, "No" goes without saying. He doesn't have to learn, he's got no choice. Is he sleeping neath the stars, till he can find someplace new? Sorry, if im raining on your parade, its good, but not clear.

[benjo]

 HEY GUYS

 thank you for your feed back and comments

 PAULSKI,     hey glad you like this one bud thanks for taking the time

 VINTAGE54, hey thank you for reading the lyric you said you were confused
             
                   yeah i don't know what to say really when i write these i aim for you to get
                   some kind of picture and make your own decision on the story and feel
                   because there can be many reasons for this guy to be where he is
                   but as i wrote it my picture was a man that has been thrown out by his family
                   wife children friends everyone turned against him because of his ways
                   women drink gambling and drugs
                   but he rolls a smoke and gets high, he doesn't have a lorry load so maybe
                   he has got a little money on him maybe just a joint

                   but to be honest you make your own mind up where it goes
                   thanks for the read and feed back hope this helps                   

[jonpromos]

I like the theme of the song
You're good at telling stories
So if and when things go wrong
We could relate to your protagonist
Obvious rhymes here and there
They don't bother me too much
'cause I was caught up in your spell
I've got to say you've got the touch

'Broken hearts don't dream'
That's my favourite line
'Cold' is a bit unnecessary
Omitting it would be fine
What i would really like
is for people to capitalize
The first letter of every line
To make it easy to the eyes

[benjo]

  HEY JONPROMOS

 thank you so much for your great feed back on this lyric
 i really enjoyed writing this

 i don't no what you mean about capitalising first words
 why do you need to do that

 i don't put 1st verse 2nd verse chorus bridge or anything
 because i like the reader or potential collaborator to
 be free to play and work in their way on it

 but i do understand you we all have our own ways about us

             thank you again and a big WELCOME