Hi Katier
Your song lyrics have simplicity. I agree with the suggestion that the 'she' could be 'I'. It would bring the ideas in the song nearer to the listener but that doesn't mean it would be better that way.
For me, the last verse doesn't quite work because it sounds awkward. Maybe 'singing' would fit in better and 'light up the night' rather than 'lift the night'. It depends how the music will be.
These are just my thoughts and ideas. It will be good to hear the words with the music.
Marrianna
