[Peppermint]

Hey everyone,

Decided to have a go at writing a country/western type song for the first time.
It's about a cowboy who's reached his prime and has been driven out of town.

Like I said its the first time I've written this type of song before so it's bound to have a few areas needing work here and there.

Anyway hope you like it  

Peppermint

The Overrated Cowboy

VERSE 1
I settled in place called western,
where Killing was the game,
It was my routin toutin shootin,
that shot me out to fame,

I would wake to the sound of gunfire,
That would rikashade through my ears,
I was the strongest of all hired guns,
you had ever seen in years,

VERSE 2
Then along came a fellow named Johnny,
Who had different point of view,
He said to meet him here at sunset,
cause there's something he's gotta do.

Told the town that I was leavin,
There was nothing I could do,
Because no one messed with johnny,
Cause he was twice the size of you.

CHORUS
Guess I'm just an over-rated cowboy,
Who's lived out all his dreams,
I'm the cowboy with no money,
And a cowboy with no dreams.

Yeah I'm the over-rated cowboy,
Who's lived out all his dreams,
I'm the cowboy with no money,
And a cowboy with no dreams.

BRIDGE
35 years have and passed,
Since I last did my shootin,
Now western is a no go place,
Where they still have lots of Lootin.

Without me there to put them down,
I guess the baddies are running free,
But that little town of western,
Couldn't wait to see the back of me,

CHORUS/OUTRO
Guess I'm just an over-rated cowboy,
Who's lived out all his dreams,
I'm the cowboy with no money,
And a cowboy with no dreams.

Yeah I'm the over-rated cowboy,
Who's lived out all his dreams,
I'm the cowboy with no money,
And a cowboy with no dreams.

[hardtwistmusic]

Hey everyone,

Decided to have a go at writing a country/western type song for the first time.
It's about a cowboy who's reached his prime and has been driven out of town.

Like I said its the first time I've written this type of song before so it's bound to have a few areas needing work here and there.

Anyway hope you like it  

Peppermint

The Overrated Cowboy

VERSE 1
I settled in place called western,
where shooting was the game,
It my the routin toutin shootin,
that shot me out to fame,

I would wake to the sound of gunfire,
That would rikashade through my ears,
I was the strongest of all cowboys,
you had ever seen in years,

VERSE 2
Then along came a cowboy named Johnny,
Who had different point of view,
He said to meet him here at sunset,
cause there's something he's gotta do.

Told the town that I was leavin,
There was nothing I could do,
Because no one messed with johnny,
Cause he was twice the size of you.

CHORUS
Guess I'm just an over-rated cowboy,
Who's lived out all his dreams,
I'm the cowboy with no money,
And a cowboy with no dreams.

Yeah I'm the over-rated cowboy,
Who's lived out all his dreams,
I'm the cowboy with no money,
And a cowboy with no dreams.

BRIDGE
35 years have and passed,
Since I last did my shootin,
Now western is a no go place,
Where they still have lots of Lootin.

Without me there to shoot them down,
I guess the baddies are running free,
But that little town of western,
Couldn't wait to see the back of me,

CHORUS/OUTRO
Guess I'm just an over-rated cowboy,
Who's lived out all his dreams,
I'm the cowboy with no money,
And a cowboy with no dreams.

Yeah I'm the over-rated cowboy,
Who's lived out all his dreams,
I'm the cowboy with no money,
And a cowboy with no dreams.

I read it.  I liked it.  But didn't really spend enough time on it to critique.  I'll come back when I can spend some time on it.

[Neil C]

Peppermint,
Put a smile on my face, and told the story well, like he was recanting personally. Liked Routin', Toutin' Shootin' and strong chorus.
I think there's a few things you could tidy up including reduce repetition - you use shooting and cowboy a lot
so you could change
Line 2 where killing was the game
Line 7 I was the strongest of all hired guns
Line 8 Then along came a fellow called Johnny,
In the bridge section you repeat the shooting looting rhyme you used earlier.
Bridge Line 5 I'd replace 'shoot' with 'put'
Hope this helps
 
Neil

[Peppermint]

Peppermint,
Put a smile on my face, and told the story well, like he was recanting personally. Liked Routin', Toutin' Shootin' and strong chorus.
I think there's a few things you could tidy up including reduce repetition - you use shooting and cowboy a lot
so you could change
Line 2 where killing was the game
Line 7 I was the strongest of all hired guns
Line 8 Then along came a fellow called Johnny,
In the bridge section you repeat the shooting looting rhyme you used earlier.
Bridge Line 5 I'd replace 'shoot' with 'put'
Hope this helps
 
Neil

Hello Neil C,

Thanks for your suggestions for improving it.
I'll add these lines to it so it no longer seems repetitive.

Thanks
Peppermint

[hardtwistmusic]

HERE ARE SOME SUGGESTIONS:  Suggested changes are underlined.

I would wake to the sound of gunfire,
That would ricochet  through my ears,
I was the fastest hired gun,
The West had seen in years,

VERSE 2
Then this hombre named Johnny,
Had different point of view,
He said "meet me here at sunset,"
cause there's something we've gotta do.

I Told the town that I was leavin,
Nothing else I could do,
You never mess with johnny,
Cause he's twice as fast of you.

CHORUS
Guess I'm just an over-rated cowboy,
A gunman who is not quite what he seems
I'm the lonely drifter with no money,
I'm the lonely cowboy with no dreams.



Without my gun to put them down,
The outlaws all run wild and free,
But that little town of western,
Couldn't wait to see the back of me,

It also might be a good idea to explain why "Johnny" doesn't take over the function of our hero, and keep those bad guys in line.  Probably Johnny is lazy, or doesn't care enough, or might be a bad guy himself. 

Hope this helps.  Use anything you like, discard the rest.

[jamieF]

Gotta agree with Hardtwist, his comments were spot on. Plus it's "rootin" and "tootin", no "u" in there, we yanks tend to leave 'em out a lot.
I loved the whole concept of the song, but I am a sucker for cowboy songs anyway LOL!
Really cool song.