[MarS]

Hi everyone,
This is my first post here and I´d love to see what you think of this one. Thanks!

TRY THE ONLY WAY

What´s a dream undreamed with you in a perfect world
Want to try and tell you but ya see it´s blurred
All the roads not taken if I´m by your side
Could have stayed a little longer, well it´s time

Beauty is your only weapon can you feel the pain
Will you chase the winds forever, who says that you can´t
Thrill wakes up a new beginning tries the only way
Tried it hard and tried a little but ya see I can

Guess who´s gonna have to let who´s gonna make believe
Trust  who´s gonna wait  who´s gonna try an´ see
Might have come a little later but I will
I´ll  go first until it´s  over I´ll just feel

Beauty is my only weapon, can you feel the pain
Will you chase the winds forever, who says that you can´t
Thrill wakes up a new beginning tries the only way
Tried it hard and tried a little but ya see I can

And I know I´ll show you show you around
Coming around getting around
So easy going
Flying away  flying above

Beauty is your only weapon who can´t feel the pain
Will we chase the winds forever who says that we can´t
Thrill wakes up a new beginning tries the only way
Tried it hard and tried a little but ya see we can

Beauty is our only weapon can we stand the pain
Will we chase the dreams forever, who says that we can´t
Loves wakes up a new beginning tries the only way
Try  it hard and try a little  and  ya´ll see we can

[Arkwright]

Hey MarS, welcome to the forum...

An interesting if somewhat confused set of lyrics for me. As I have no musical talent whatsoever, I won't comment on what sort of genre this could fit into or whether it would be difficult to set it to music at all.

What I'm happy to comment on is the content of the lyrics and the story they tell.

Despite having read the lyrics several times, I'm really struggling to determine the overall story or message. Sometimes people like an explanation as to what inspired you to write the lyrics is helpful, but I find this kind of defeats the object somewhat.

In isolation, there are some really strong lines that create good imagery. For example "What´s a dream undreamed" and "Beauty is your only weapon" which I note when repeated has a change of protagonist which I'm sure was intentional but not sure what you're trying to say.

The problem I'm having is being able to link all the lines together and come up an overall story or concept. This line in particular "Guess who´s gonna have to let who´s gonna make believe" is the best example I can find to illustrate my confusion about exactly what is being said.

On a positive note, you clearly have a talent for the use of words in a creative way and that's half the battle.

It may be that once set to music and sung, I would fall in love with it and not care whether I understood what is was about, but until that point, I can only comment on what's in front of me.

I sincerely hope I haven't been over critical on your first post in this magnificent forum and I do genuinely believe you have some ability. You must also wait and see what others have to say, because invariably someone will have a different opinion to my own and I could be completely off the mark.

Steve

[MarS]

Hi Steve,

Thank you so much for the feedback! This is one of my first attempts to write lyrics and the very first time I post something I´ve written on the Internet.I should also say that I´m not a native English speaker. I suppose this might explain  the confusion..Having said that, your feedback is a great compliment! Thank you very much indeed!
Mariela

[Arkwright]

Hi Mariela

English not being your spoken language makes a big difference and explains quite a lot.

As a first attempt, it's a great effort and I'd hope other forum members will drop in and offer their opinions and advice.