[MonnoDB]

Hi guys..

I've been in and out lately - but fully plan to get back into the flow of things and am very pleased to hear that there are plans to invigorate the forum - look forward to hearing more.. Great to hear some new songs and will be back to review more over the coming days (and weeks).

So finally I have something new. I've started and stopped lots of songs over the last while and as happens, this one took hold. Bit of an odd title and I wasn't (still am not, I guess) completely convinced it worked but sure it's not for changing now.. Of course, my trusty and talented Swedish pal @Jambrains has been on hand with the advice and steers as always and I've tortured his ears with more than one mix.. so a thanks to him again.

As always, I've tweaking to do, so please don't be shy with the advice etc..

K




I call to talk but I have nothing to say
I just want to hear your voice
I act like I don’t have a care in the world
And that not being yours was my choice
I wanted to tell you that I can’t stop thinking
Of you, your face, and your ways
But words once spoken can’t be reclaimed
So I play the role of friend instead

False friend, there’s no end to my deception
False friend, better longing than rejection
False friend, in the order of what matters
Better dreams untapped than shattered

Your touch is accidental
But it hits like an lightening bolt
My face is a mask, I’ll never show
The feelings you evoke
Are you really not aware
Of the chaos you create
When you’re not here, I’m clear of mind
But one look and I can't think straight

False friend, there’s no end to my deception
False friend, better longing than rejection
False friend, in the order of what matters
Better dreams untapped than shattered

I rest my hand on your seat
When I travel alone
You’re a ghost in my days
Presence felt, never shown
Not a chill, but a warmth in my bones
Like a secret, comforting shawl

False friend, there’s no end to my deception
False friend, better longing than rejection
False friend, in the order of what matters
Better dreams untapped than shattered

[pompeyjazz]

Fabulous Karen @MonnoDB I really like the lo-fi approach that you have taken with this one. The drums together with the bass give the track so much atmosphere and combined with those fabulous vocals (and harmonies) give the whole song perfect balance. The lyrics are well thought out and tell a tale that could be interpreted in many ways which is perfect for a songwriter. That chorus is damn catchy too ! Another fabulous piece of work K 😀

[Elvis Nash]

You’re tracks are a bit hot , I’d bump up vocals up a tad
Great hook and angle !!!

[PaulAds]

Well...this was a mid-week treat.

I was supposed to be having an early night...so I climbed into bed, whacked my headphones on and then I came over all peculiar. Soundcloud kept throwing some completely inappropriate and un-related song up as soon as this one finished, so I had to keep replaying yours so as not to break the spell...and then, before I knew it, I seemed to have become a little obsessed with it all.

I read through the lyrics as I was was going...and you really carried me away on this one. There is often a very sweet vulnerability in your voice. Coupled with the fact that you're such an accomplished lyricist, it gives the song great emotional depth.

The instrumentation is rather wonderful too. Your piano is lovely and the bass and drums combo give it a gentle, understated feel...although there's an underlying tension that the arrangement seems to be trying to dissipate towards the end...but it won't go away. And, although it seems like you're trying to put it to one side, you sound like a dam about to burst.

You captured that feeling beautifully.

Listening to this reminded me of something Morrissey once sang

"I dreamt about you last night and I fell out of bed twice"

[Nick Ryder]

Hi @MonnoDB

Ok, so for me, as a song this ticks all the boxes. You have great lyrics, vocals, arrangement etc.

The song is constructed really well. The verses are melodic and interesting, and the choruses are actually choruses. They are memorable and have a lift to them. You play around with dynamics in the song and have a lovely middle 8 section which changes direction musically and in the arrangement. Such a well crafted song and I think some should study what you have done her as there are lessons to be learnt in terms of composition.

The arrangement works well however, if I were producing it, I would do something similar to what Phil Collins does with the drums in his 'In the Air Tonight' song.

He starts with the hypnotic programmed drum loops (as you have done), but then later on he brings in some big real drums with some big fills. This song of yours would work really well if it did something similar.

I do not think you need to fade at the end either. I think this song is too good for a fade and if it were me, I'd figure out a way to end it.

Anyway, thanks for sharing and please keep up the good work.

[moraamarolaloba]

Hola @MonnoDB
Me ha gustado mucho!!! I t link the mx works well, the vocals are wonderful, I love your voice, and this chorus I LOVE IT!!!!  Piano and arrangement give the story a dramatic feeling and your voice, at some moments, sounds line a native indican 'cause the articulation of words.
Very good one, so pleasant to listen to!

[icystorm]

@MonnoDB

Excellent song! I love your voice and style! The music creates a great atmosphere comprised of keys, drums, and other percussion. The lyrics are cool too. Great mix and production; super clean and clear! I will definitely check out other songs from you. Well done! Love it!

Cheers,
Joseph

[MonnoDB]

Thanks all! It's always scary putting something out there particularly when it's been a while so I appreciate your taking the time to listen and comment!

Hello @icystorm -thank you so much for your comments - look forward to checking out your music!

@moraamarolaloba muchas gracias. Aprecio tus comentarios como siempre! <3.. Interesting comments about the phrasing.. thank you so much!

@Nick Ryder high praise indeed and I'm delighted to hear your comments on composition. I'm a little old school when it comes to song structure and find it hard to deviate from this. A songwriter I very much admire, Olbigead, who was never on this forum but some may know him from the Kitchen, used to poke me about this a little and always praise my songs that didn't have a M8 (for example) but sure.. if it works, it works..  Interesting notes re the drums.. I shall give it some thought but drums are always the hardest part for me.. so we shall see. Thanks again so much.

@PaulAds - you're very kind.. and I appreciate the detailed listens and comments. I'm always chuffed when you like my stuff, being a fan of yours and all Same with @pompeyjazz ! I think you got the intention of the lyric which pleases me. And I love that Morrissey quote..

@Elvis Nash thanks a mill.. I'll have a look at those levels. Appreciate your taking the time.

@pompeyjazz , Hey John! Thanks so much for those lovely comments - so lovely and well thought out .. Really appreciate your taking the time.

Thanks again, all!

K

 

[IronKnee]

Hi guys..

I've been in and out lately - but fully plan to get back into the flow of things and am very pleased to hear that there are plans to invigorate the forum - look forward to hearing more.. Great to hear some new songs and will be back to review more over the coming days (and weeks).

So finally I have something new. I've started and stopped lots of songs over the last while and as happens, this one took hold. Bit of an odd title and I wasn't (still am not, I guess) completely convinced it worked but sure it's not for changing now.. Of course, my trusty and talented Swedish pal @Jambrains has been on hand with the advice and steers as always and I've tortured his ears with more than one mix.. so a thanks to him again.

As always, I've tweaking to do, so please don't be shy with the advice etc..

K




I call to talk but I have nothing to say
I just want to hear your voice
I act like I don’t have a care in the world
And that not being yours was my choice
I wanted to tell you that I can’t stop thinking
Of you, your face, and your ways
But words once spoken can’t be reclaimed
So I play the role of friend instead

False friend, there’s no end to my deception
False friend, better longing than rejection
False friend, in the order of what matters
Better dreams untapped than shattered

Your touch is accidental
But it hits like an lightening bolt
My face is a mask, I’ll never show
The feelings you evoke
Are you really not aware
Of the chaos you create
When you’re not here, I’m clear of mind
But one look and I can't think straight

False friend, there’s no end to my deception
False friend, better longing than rejection
False friend, in the order of what matters
Better dreams untapped than shattered

I rest my hand on your seat
When I travel alone
You’re a ghost in my days
Presence felt, never shown
Not a chill, but a warmth in my bones
Like a secret, comforting shawl

False friend, there’s no end to my deception
False friend, better longing than rejection
False friend, in the order of what matters
Better dreams untapped than shattered

First off, love the song. how was it recorded. It sounds good!

What new things are to invigorate this forum.
God knows we need it. ALL the sites are getting stale.

Anyways..........the song has a great hook.....love the "False friends" Line.

[mattyoungmusic]

Really cool song and arrangement!  I do wish the vocals were a bit more upfront, just so I could follow along easier, because the lyrics are really intriguing. 
The unexpected (at least to me) timing of the lines in the chorus really caught my ear.

[Nick Ryder]

Thanks all! It's always scary putting something out there particularly when it's been a while so I appreciate your taking the time to listen and comment!

@Nick Ryder high praise indeed and I'm delighted to hear your comments on composition. I'm a little old school when it comes to song structure and find it hard to deviate from this. A songwriter I very much admire, Olbigead, who was never on this forum but some may know him from the Kitchen, used to poke me about this a little and always praise my songs that didn't have a M8 (for example) but sure.. if it works, it works..  Interesting notes re the drums.. I shall give it some thought but drums are always the hardest part for me.. so we shall see. Thanks again so much.

You're welcome!!

[kevysc]

@MonnoDB  You just keep getting better Lots to love in this one. I love the understated production. There are some lovely touches in the drums/percussion and your backing vocals really add a lot to the depth of the track. I love the constancy and drive to the soundtrack that really supports the unfolding of your lyric. The lyric has some fantastic lines e.g. "words once spoken can't be reclaimed". The changeup in the bridge adds another layer. And you have a killer chorus ! Kevin