[Ramshackles]

Well, nothing posted in a long while so I'll throw up some lyrics. Evens out my reviews vs posts ratio a little bit....
This had music, but I eventually rejected it from our band for being to trite & simple.
The singer maintains it has a certain charm:

Hide All Your Lovers

 Hide all your lovers
'Cause I'm coming over
My heart is your armchair
How long will you lie there?
How long will you lie there?

Jump out the windows and
Throw out your dowry
And leave for evermore
How long will you lie for?
How long will you lie for?

A nest in the country
To bury me completely
Perhaps Goathland or Grosmont
Where you will be long gone
Where you will be long gone

Years to recover
On this for dust to gather
So keep all your lovers
Cause I'll find another
I'll find another

[Neil C]

Really liked the title and the words sound great to me. You need to get a new tune. I can hear one almost popping into my head now.

Liked the use of place names, always make it sound specific and real. So had to check out where Goathland or Grosmont were, I had kind of guessed Scotland but no North Yorkshire. I think its great when songs contain local places. I always think every town, city or State in America sound great and conjures up great imagery.
 
Neil 

[Kevin j]

Great lyrics, i like the way you told the story of the song, and how you used place names, it helps with the imagery.
I find its hard to get a new tune for a set of lyrics after having one for them already, i hope its not the same for you.
I like the rhyming scheme, but i think maybe you should write  a bridge to give the song a small change and keep the audience interested....nice lyrics anyway   

[Sing4me88]

Flows really well. Love the repeating lines at the end of each verse and I love the sign off 'I'll find another'.

[Ramshackles]

Thanks
Kevin J you say it well...it's really hard to find another tune when you already put one to the words!
Dont know if it was the tune, arrangement or lyrics that we didn't like in the first place....maybe I should just post it
Bridge could be good. Originally there was an instrumental which went in place of a bridge.

I like imagery a lot, and my lyrics often seem to be a bit vague/full of imagery than following any concrete story/message!

[S.T.C]

Thanks
Kevin J you say it well...it's really hard to find another tune when you already put one to the words!
Dont know if it was the tune, arrangement or lyrics that we didn't like in the first place....maybe I should just post it
Bridge could be good. Originally there was an instrumental which went in place of a bridge.

I like imagery a lot, and my lyrics often seem to be a bit vague/full of imagery than following any concrete story/message!

Yeah post the song.

[Jess]

You have a nice way with words, I like songs with words I don't understand, I feel like I've learnt something new after I've read it this would sound great with music, can't wait to hear it
I admire how you withdrew the song because it wasn't how you wanted it to be, there are so many people in the industry who are so fame hungry they would rather release a bad song than wait to have a great one

[benjo]

 flows really well
 very good use of places to
 enjoyed this work
 keep it up mate...

[Sing4me88]

Lyrics flow well and I love the 'throw out your dowry line' as well as the title/hook line. For some reason as a 'read' rather than read the lyrics as a melancholic singer-songwriter song I got an uptempo Poalo Nutini style vibe from this.

[Sellon]

It says a lot for a song of few words, you keep it simple, yet so complex...that's really weird...really special, takes a lot of talent to do that.