[S.T.C]

Oh, he`s of again just written ,not tweaked at all have a gander; style is of a gentle guitar by a log fire, boring everyone to death in their woolly jumpers,whilst sipping eggnog.

a whole lot more
is a whole lot more
than i had before
you walked across my dream

and a whole lot less
feels like second best
when  i wake
to find you gone

i pray to sleep
just to keep
your image
clear in my mind

and when i'm finding time
its eyes closed like cellars
that never see the light
a short hello
and a long goodbye
of the tearful cry of a fellow
now forever gone

a whole lot more
is a whole lot more
than all the promises
i have ever swore

and a whole lot less
like a second guess
wont fulfill all the words
that have gone before

and when i'm finding time
its eyes closed like cellars
that never see the light
a short hello
and a long goodbye
of the tearful cry of a fellow
now forever gone

flowers wither in a dry noon sun
wishing you`d never gone
from my dreams
are you hiding
is that your scheme
night lover
oh night lover
i'll sleep it over
and wake to dream of you
once more

[MCmaster]

 

[Scarriff]

Okay well I now have the warm and fuzzy's, this is actually a beautifully simple song, and by no means is a simple song a bad thing.

Not sure if it's just the way I heard it in my head or the way its written or both, but it just... worked, not sure how else to put it, only thing I can kind of compare it to is "hurt" by Cash, which may be a crazy things to say but heck I'll say it anyway.

I've been on an hour bender of reading songs on this forum and I've read a lot of good stuff in that time, this is no exception, great song, loving it!!

[GTB]

Nice lyrics STC, I imagine this could prod a memory or two in many of us and could mean something a bit different to all, whilst getting a certain common feeling across to everyone.  Good result I'd say, well done
GTB

[hardtwistmusic]

I've read this before, and it didn't "sing" for me, so I came back after a little time away from it and found a good melody and it sang very well, and with a great deal of drama. 

That was all it was lacking for me was the way to sing it.  I think it's a real good lyric now that I've found the appropriate timing and rhythm for it.

[tokenangmoh]

Hello.

This is lovely. You've done really well with the short lines.

eyes closed like cellars
that never see the light

Is terrific.

The only word I'm not a fan of is "fellow". It sounds like it comes from a different world than the rest of the song. I know you've got it for the half rhyme with "hello", but I don't think you really need it...

Well done!

Matt

[S.T.C]

Hello.

This is lovely. You've done really well with the short lines.

eyes closed like cellars
that never see the light

Is terrific.

The only word I'm not a fan of is "fellow". It sounds like it comes from a different world than the rest of the song. I know you've got it for the half rhyme with "hello", but I don't think you really need it...

Well done!

Matt

Yes i know ,i didn't like it when i wrote it ....when i've got the inclination i will revisit this and sort it out.

[benjo]

 hey good job on this lyric I like it
 some lovely lines in there
 short and to the point way to go
 
 another good write from you

[Bernd]

I don't seem to get the chorus work for me, or as Verlon would put it: it doesn't sing for me.
Maybe I've simply got the wrong tune... In my mind I'm trying to make it six lines, with "fellow" as a half rhyme for "cellar", not "hello", which I can't make match meter-wise. This is how I 'hear' it:

and when i'm finding time
it's eyes closed like cellars
that never see the light
a short hello, a long goodbye
the tearful cry of a fellow
now forever gone

and, of course, in my version the last word should rhyme with "light", something like

and when i'm finding time
it's eyes closed like cellars
that never see the light
a short hello, a long goodbye
the echoes of a fellow
and her/his fading cry

Oh, it's supposed to read "sworn" - which still rhymes sufficiently ;-)

Cheers,
Bernd

[S.T.C]

like i said i will revisit this.. here is the chorus ,roughly done ...

https://soundcloud.com/songsthatcry/chorus