[wjf22]

New song I was messing with on my loop pedal. Please excuse the terrible recording, would love some thoughts.

https://soundcloud.com/wfreed22/new-recording-4-1

[bewarethisboy]

Love the little guitar riff - really catchy little worm! I think that the melody could/should just wonder off the rails a little as you go through the verse, its all a bit the same - so maybe borrowing some of the tune from the riff and singing that in the second part of the verse could really add another dimension to the melody. Having said all of that I think this really does have legs and look forward to hearing a more complete arrangement. Be lucky - BTB

[Dutchbeat]

a cool riff and singing melody! Certainly worthwhile to follow up on this further and get a more full arrangment recorded

nice

[tokenangmoh]

Hello.

I love me some loopers.

The main riff is great, and the melody works... to an extent. I think looper songs can benefit from monotone melodies - the repetition can become a virtue. But I think you stay with the same melodic idea just a little too long. It would be cool to hear you explode away from the verse with a soaring chorus.

Nice start, though, and I look forward to hearing more.

Matt

[diademgrove]

Hi,

I felt the only thing missing from the song writing side was an in your face chorus. I thought maybe the wanted alive or dead could be it but it sounds more like a middle 8 (or bridge, if you prefer) as it takes the song down a little.

I found it a bit difficult to catch all the words, sign of my age, so it would help if you could please post the lyrics.

If you disagree feel free to ignore me,

a good beginning to a very good song,

Keith

[ArmstrongandStayte]

catchy riff

Liking that - lots of potential in where you can take this

[montmorency]

I wouldn't change much in the way of the melody or structure, good as is. The guitar riff is good too, I'd like to hear the song with something different going on in the percussion though, maybe a little more stripped down at the beginning of the song with some space for the vocals and guitar, building toward a fuller rhythm in the hi-hats as the song goes on, maybe replace the snares with a tom-beat, give it a little momentum.