[skogge]

Hi. This is a saddie 
Story behind this song is almost to much to handle I think. But it is about sickness and upcoming losses...

Stitches

(Stitches -
Life will give you stitches…)

Don´t make a sound
I can´t process another word
I just want to sit right here

Don´t bring the news
I cannot take another scare
I just wanna sleep right here

Don´t hold me now
I might just break inside your arms
I can feel the weight of the world

But I´ve got a shelter
I´ve got food to go around
I can go to bed when I´m done

…when I´m done
To bed when I´m done
To bed when I´m done

Don´t hold me now
I might just break inside your arms
I can feel the weight of the world

But I´ve got a shelter
I´ve got food to go around
I can go to bed when I´m done

Bring me your tears of sadness
and I´ll lend you my tears of joy
I can never know what your feeling
until the day
we say goodbye

Stitches
Life will give you stitches
It kind of itches
when it´s gone

Stitches
Life gives you stitches
It kind of itches
when it´s gone

Stitches
Life can give you stitches
It kind of itches
when it´s gone

Stitches
Life gives you stitches
It kind of itches
when it´s gone

If only I could bring  you hope
If only you could take some time
of my hands...

Stitches
Life will give you stitches
It kind of itches
when it´s gone

If only I could bring  you hope
If only you could take some time
of my hands...
 
Stitches
Life can give you stitches
It kind of itches
when it´s gone

If only I could bring  you hope
If only you could take some time
of my hands...

[Paulski]

Hi Skogge

Well I loved this right up to the "Life will give you stitches" line. At that point I totally disengaged from the song. I have no clue what that expression means. Stitches to me are what they sew up holes or wounds with- but how does life give you stitches? Maybe it gives you wounds...

Sorry just want to be honest - I really liked the rest of this!
Paul

[hardtwistmusic]

Like Paul, I really identified with parts of this, and simply didn't get other parts. 

Later, I'll point out the parts I thought were exceptional.  There are enough incredible lines in this to make a song without question. 

[skogge]

Maybe it gives you wounds...
Sorry just want to be honest - I really liked the rest of this!

Hi Paul

Got no problem with honesty :-)
Yes, stitches has to do with surgery, but also with sharp pain. In my head it also meant a little piece of wood stuck in your finger or foot but I guess that is a splinter, correct? I am Swedish so I don´t know all the bits and pieces of the English language…

"Wounds" would´t fit nice in the chorus either
Song itself is almost done. Should be ready in a week or two so there´s no turning round on this… :/
Would have posted the lyric sooner but the final lines only came to me, after hard labour, yesterday evening.

simply didn't get other parts.

Just ask and I´ll explain what I was thinking

Later, I'll point out the parts I thought were exceptional.  There are enough incredible lines in this to make a song without question. 

Thanks! Blushing here

[hardtwistmusic]

Just ask and I´ll explain what I was thinking

Interesting concept.  In several ways, it doesn't matter what you were thinking. 

1.  It doesn't matter because you won't get to explain it to those who hear the song.  It's going to mean TO THEM what it means to them without the explanation. 

2.  Communication between two people is ALWAYS incomplete.  Even WITH the explanation, it's still going to mean to the "other party" what it means to them on first "listen/read". 

3.  What you were thinking doesn't matter that much because your lyric isn't about thinking, it's about feeling.  Most lyrics about feeling are better expressed without the explanation. 

I guess what I'm saying is that in any communication (and art is ALL about communiciation) there are two parts.  1.  What is "sent."     2.  What is "received".   The only part that matters is what is "received." 

Unlike many of the others here, I prefer to skip the explanations of what the author/writer was intending to convey so that I can focus on what actually comes through. 

Just to clarify -- I'm not lecturing here... just explaining why the explanation isn't necessary in my case. 

[hardtwistmusic]

My notes are in red.

Don´t make a sound
I can´t process another word
I just want to sit right here.   (You might consider "there" in place of "here".  

Don´t bring the news
I cannot take another scare
I just wanna sleep right here   (You might consider "there" in place of "here". "There would rhyme and tie back to the previous set of lines at the same time.  Just a suggestion.

Those two lines above are exceptional and create a lot of emotion.  

Don´t hold me now
I might just break inside your arms
I can feel the weight of the world.  (If "the world" became "the sun" it would rhyme with done, and "tie forward" to the next set of lines.)  My suggestion for this line would be "I'm carrying the weight of the sun"

But I´ve got a shelter
I´ve got food to go around
I can go to bed when I´m done      

The "Don't hold me now, I might just break inside your arms" is beyond exceptional.  IMO, it's briliant.

…when I´m done
To bed when I´m done
To bed when I´m done
The above lines add little lyrically as I read it.... but I suspect that with the music and vocal treatment, they will become quite meaningful.  

Bring me your tears of sadness
and I´ll lend you my tears of joy
I can never know what your feeling
until the day
we say goodbye

Another set of lines that are "more than exceptional."  Very well written.  

Stitches
Life will give you stitches.  As you pointed out, this should be "slivers."  Makes it more understandable to those who speak English as their native tongue.  "Splinter" means "very large sliver".  The danger of using "splinter" is that, in English, the term has too many meanings and might create vagueness and confusion.  Additionally, I would suggest that it isn't "life" that "gives you slivers" in this context, it's "love."  
It kind of itches     The term "kind of" minimalizes the emotion in this line.  I would suggest "It aches and itches."  
when it´s gone   (I would suggest "even after it's gone."  


If only I could bring  you hope
If only you could take some time
off my hands...

I'm really looking forward to hearing this with music.

[benjo]

 

 yeah I think I get this in a different way
 I understand the stitches because after a cut / wound you do end up with stitches
 and after that you are left with the scars
 I think this does work in that sense and love and life can cut deep
 leaving you needing to be stitched up

           I maybe wrong in witch case sorry just my take on a nice write

[skogge]

 

 yeah I think I get this in a different way
 I understand the stitches because after a cut / wound you do end up with stitches
 and after that you are left with the scars
 I think this does work in that sense and love and life can cut deep
 leaving you needing to be stitched up

           I maybe wrong in witch case sorry just my take on a nice write

You are not wrong.

Just ask and I´ll explain what I was thinking

Interesting concept.  In several ways, it doesn't matter what you were thinking.

Well, maybe not. But this is one unusual context we´ve got here. As you stated, in most cases the listener don´t have a chance, or even a wish, to know what the sender meant. And I agree, songs with too obvious, in your face, lyrics ("I can be your Hero, Baby…) doesn´t work well with me. But lyrics without any meaning (stream of consciousness, cut-ups and so on) is not much better. I like the arts to have a meaning that I can work out and I wan´t the sender to have a clear idea of what he wants to say. But in this transmission magic can happen that none of us anticipated.

But as for the "special" context. This is a songwriting forum and you got me, the writer, here. So if anyone  would like me to explain some metaphors or why I wrote this and that, it´s possible to do that. And since I try hard to write my lyrics, and music, from a more or less clear idea of what I want to do I got no problems explaining what I was trying to do. If I succeed in this, well that is out of my hands!  

[skogge]

Song is up!

http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/song-reviews/stitches-9106/msg84052/#msg84052

[jimwix]

Forgive me if you know this, but you say you’re Swedish (I wouldn’t have guessed as your English is excellent) – In Britain the expression “in stitches” is pretty commonly used to mean something was hilariously funny. Eg ‘ The comedian was so good, I was in stitches all night’ .  I guess it derives from ‘burst a gut laughing’ or maybe laughing so hard you get a stomach cramp which is also known as a stitch.
If that is commonly known as an international expression then I’m sorry for pointing out the obvious, but reading the other comments above it just struck me that it may just be a British thing?
 
So, I read ‘life will give you stitches’ as a rather clever observation on the bittersweet ironies of life, and that fits in really well with the upbeat arrangement and all contrasts nicely with the sad subject matter.  Whether you meant it or not it works for me.

[skogge]

Forgive me if you know this, but you say you’re Swedish (I wouldn’t have guessed as your English is excellent) – In Britain the expression “in stitches” is pretty commonly used to mean something was hilariously funny. Eg ‘ The comedian was so good, I was in stitches all night’ .  I guess it derives from ‘burst a gut laughing’ or maybe laughing so hard you get a stomach cramp which is also known as a stitch.
If that is commonly known as an international expression then I’m sorry for pointing out the obvious, but reading the other comments above it just struck me that it may just be a British thing?
 
So, I read ‘life will give you stitches’ as a rather clever observation on the bittersweet ironies of life, and that fits in really well with the upbeat arrangement and all contrasts nicely with the sad subject matter.  Whether you meant it or not it works for me.

Now when you say it I guess I might recall this use of the expression but sadly I didn´t think that way when I wrote the song... So, it´s not that clever, unfortunately… 
But thanks for your kind words and for explaining further how the lyric might be interpreted. Learning by doing, over and over again!