[Jamie]

Hi Suzy, I wouldn't change the arrangement it works well as it is and the lyrics work really well for this style.It could be tidied up a bit in line with previous comments, but would be well worth polishing IMHO!
Cheers
Jamie

[Neil C]

Hey CS or should I say Pick-up Suzy?
Anyway apologies for the delay in reviewing.
You could easily put some simple bass and drums in the later sections, but I dont think it needs anything more, its about storytelling. Love the 'Does compassion have a scent that they can see?'
 
Neil

[tina m]

Hiya suzy
This is fabulous ...i think leonard cohen wouldve been very pleased to write this ...but I dont think hed have sung it as well as you
you do like the weird guys dont you! I think id have told him to be in someone elses song  & written about the best looking  guy instead!.... but the strange ones tell the best stories  & make the best lyrics !
the harmonies were gorgeous & drums & bass totally would ruin it...i think it was a long song but i have no idea realy bcos i was captured by it
just dont let that guy out of the song tho!!!...hes probably a psycho who wears tin foil  pajamas in bed to stop the radiations from outer space keeping him awake

[crystalsuzy]

Fantastic writing here! Really original images but somehow familiar and relateable. The wavelength and stoned lines are very memorable. I really like this version. I don't think I would add anything to it...

Thanks so much for the thumbs up on this one, Adam I glad there was something relate-able
about it 

A captivating performance encapsulating the loneliness of individuals in a crowd,where everyone looks to be having fun,yet it's sometimes just a veneer.

There are lots of things you could do with the song production wise,but it works as it is,so maybe that's where it should be.

Much enjoyed crystalsuzy.

Thanks much-ly Skub Human nature is always an interesting study, and this particular incident
was heart wrenching in some ways, but in others, not he obviously had some kind of mental illness, but he wore his heart upon his sleeve and was somehow refreshing

[delb0y]

Tremendous! Great writing - lyrics are exceptional. Melody and style and performance are spot on. Really really good. Stylewise, I prefer the first verse when it was just one voice, not keen on the harmonies and multiple vocals - to me that distracts from the story and emotional connections that you made almost almost from the off. But I suspect that I'm in the minority with this preference so take this just as a personal thing.

Very well done!

[montydog]

Oh Suzy, suzy, suzy!

Fabulous song - your best yet and the accompaniment is perfect. Leonard Cohen was sever an arm to be able to write this. Love the double track vocal, the gentle strummed and picked acoustic guitar. Very dense, poetic lyrics - reminded me of Joni Mitchell circa the Blue album. What more can I say?

I think this is is outstanding and needs nothing else.

M

[crystalsuzy]

Wow. What a song. Style reminds a little of Simon & Garfunkel in how you have put the melody together...really good, nothing to add to whats been said above. I love the discordant rhythms of the overlaid harmonies...fantastic work.

WOW!  "Simon & Garfunkel" What a compliment that is MR Thanks so much for your kind words

Hi CrystalSuzy,

I tried to listen as if it was something of mine, in order to be more critical. It's hard to criticize your work because it's so beautiful.

So...if I had done this, I would notice:

1. the breath intakes
2. the lost endings on words (some might be hard to understand if I didn't have the lyrics to tell me what they are). For instance, the word "breast". All I can hear is "bre-". There are several other instances.
3. The out-of-sync harmonies.

That being said, I pretty much agree with those who wrote before me. The music is beautiful. The vocals are lovely. The message is haunting and the musical treatment suits it well. If you do add to the arrangement, I suggest you don't get carried away.

Vicki

Thanks so much Vicki, for your kind comments I totally know what you mean about my breath, words and out-of-sync harmonies  they all need work and it's good to be reminded once in
a while 

Well Suzie I must say that this song really wowed me. You (and others) have made me appreciate what a real song is all about.  Coooool.

John

"A real song" that's an interesting observation John and I love it, but if I remember right, I think you've written some pretty "real songs" yourself 

strong lyric suzy
simple single vocal on the opening verse is really affecting and drew me in
builds subtly like the camera slowly drawers back as more vocal parts come in and the song reveals itself..beautiful suzy
the pace of the gtr aliken to early leonard..has a kind of hypnotic thing about it

I appreciate the thumbs up on the lyrics Noom it's a real compliment coming from a lyricist, such
as yourself  I love your description of the song unfolding, and the likeness to L Cohen is thrilling Thanks

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Captivating is the word Suzy. To answer your questions it kept my attention with the well-painted picture that the lyric evoked...didn't even notice any lack of build or anything like that.

I wouldn't add anything necessarily to the production - you could but you don't need to -  but I am in the camp that finds some of the bvs/2nd vocal/harmonies whatever you want to call them a bit overpowering.....I think you could use them more sparingly to better effect.

Very nicely-written song.

[crystalsuzy]

What a great song - great lyrics and melody.
Yeah the vocals could be pitch-corrected here and there but I'm not sure I'd do that or it might lose some poignancy (hey I spelled that right!). Reminded me of Cohen as well - a huge plus in my books.

Well done my fellow canuckski
Paul

Thanks so much, my fellow canuck Yes, the vocals could use some help, but I don't want to loose
poignancy, and if I make them too perfect, I'll loose the Cohen reference 

Hi Suzy,

Concerning the production, you don't need to add more instrumentation, in fact I would remove some of the backing vocals in places in order to keep the focus on the story telling aspect of the song.
The lyrics are what I liked best in this song, 'I don't look my best, but I'll clean up ' womderful lines.
I have some problems with the structure, I find it sounds a little unbalanced, the 5 line verses could be doing that, the last line feels un resolved in my opinion.
i really enjoyed this, listened 3 times already, it is quite captivating and with a little bit more crafting here and there could be a real gem.

Regards,
Frenchy

Thanks so much Frenchy I'm glad you liked the lyrics. I wrote this song after an incident that happened to a member of my family, so nothing is fictional Never thought about the 5 line
verses, but I'm happy you found it captivating 

Hi Crystalsuzy.........All I can tell you is that I have enjoyed this listen. The line, "Oh why do all the strange ones come to me?" is a real stand out. Love that lyrical ear worm.
The only thing that I could suggest is that you rerecord the whole piece in its entirety.......this time better.
It's a beautiful piece of sentiment........
                                                                      -Tom

Thanks Tom glad you enjoyed the listen, and you're right, I should re-record it from scratch,
but we all know what that's like 
 

[crystalsuzy]

This made me think of my Momma who had a huge heart for lost puppies, abandoned kittens, and broken strangers.  Very emotional for me. 

I didn't cry, but I had to fight it a little.  That is the sign of a great lyric/song. 

Oh, and by the way, I too have too much identification with those same lost puppies, abandoned kittens and broken strangers. 

Thanks HTM, for your very kind words I know exactly what you mean about lost puppies, kittens, strangers, etc. Both my parents had huge hearts, and both my daughter and I inherited that trait. This song is about just that, so I'm thrilled that it evoked that response in you not that I wanted to make you cry 

Hi Suzy, I wouldn't change the arrangement it works well as it is and the lyrics work really well for this style.It could be tidied up a bit in line with previous comments, but would be well worth polishing IMHO!
Cheers
Jamie

thanks Jamie, I'm glad it works for you as is  I know it needs tiding up and will get to it asap

Hey CS or should I say Pick-up Suzy?
Anyway apologies for the delay in reviewing.
You could easily put some simple bass and drums in the later sections, but I dont think it needs anything more, its about storytelling. Love the 'Does compassion have a scent that they can see?'
 
Neil

Thanks Neil, but this song wasn't totally about me better late then never

[Movin Flavour]

As I said before Suzy,

Felt like I was in the room, you painted this picture very well.

Lyrics are cool and voice is soothing


Sandeep

[crystalsuzy]

Hiya suzy
This is fabulous ...i think leonard cohen wouldve been very pleased to write this ...but I dont think hed have sung it as well as you
you do like the weird guys dont you! I think id have told him to be in someone elses song  & written about the best looking  guy instead!.... but the strange ones tell the best stories  & make the best lyrics !
the harmonies were gorgeous & drums & bass totally would ruin it...i think it was a long song but i have no idea realy bcos i was captured by it
just dont let that guy out of the song tho!!!...hes probably a psycho who wears tin foil  pajamas in bed to stop the radiations from outer space keeping him awake

Thanks so much for your very kind comments, Tina
Maybe I could pitch this one to Leonard I had a dream I sang as one of his back-up chicks once
...it was a very bizarre dream
I do tend to attract the weird ones, although this particular one wasn't mine but luckily, they do make for good lyrics    So nice to have you back Tina 

Tremendous! Great writing - lyrics are exceptional. Melody and style and performance are spot on. Really really good. Stylewise, I prefer the first verse when it was just one voice, not keen on the harmonies and multiple vocals - to me that distracts from the story and emotional connections that you made almost almost from the off. But I suspect that I'm in the minority with this preference so take this just as a personal thing.

Very well done!

Thanks Delby  You're comments are humbling and I'm glad you liked the lyrics 
Interesting that you prefer the solo vocals and not too keen on the BV's    I understand what
you mean though, so thanks

[Doodles]

This is probably my favourite song of yours. I love the laid back, stripped back guitar and easy vocals. I find it a bit Nick Drake-esque, which is no bad thing in my book at all. Will listen again for sure.

[crystalsuzy]

Oh Suzy, suzy, suzy!

Fabulous song - your best yet and the accompaniment is perfect. Leonard Cohen was sever an arm to be able to write this. Love the double track vocal, the gentle strummed and picked acoustic guitar. Very dense, poetic lyrics - reminded me of Joni Mitchell circa the Blue album. What more can I say?

I think this is is outstanding and needs nothing else.

M

Sorry for taking so long to thank you for such a humbling review M I'm very moved and so appreciate your very kind comments 

[Cove]

Great tune...love the lyrics and vocals!..my fav. from you so far!