Wow. What a song. Style reminds a little of Simon & Garfunkel in how you have put the melody together...really good, nothing to add to whats been said above. I love the discordant rhythms of the overlaid harmonies...fantastic work.
WOW! "Simon & Garfunkel" What a compliment that is MR
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Thanks so much for your kind words
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Hi CrystalSuzy,
I tried to listen as if it was something of mine, in order to be more critical. It's hard to criticize your work because it's so beautiful.
So...if I had done this, I would notice:
1. the breath intakes
2. the lost endings on words (some might be hard to understand if I didn't have the lyrics to tell me what they are). For instance, the word "breast". All I can hear is "bre-". There are several other instances.
3. The out-of-sync harmonies.
That being said, I pretty much agree with those who wrote before me. The music is beautiful. The vocals are lovely. The message is haunting and the musical treatment suits it well. If you do add to the arrangement, I suggest you don't get carried away.
Vicki
Thanks so much Vicki, for your kind comments
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I totally know what you mean about my breath, words and out-of-sync harmonies
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they all need work and it's good to be reminded once in
a while
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Well Suzie I must say that this song really wowed me. You (and others) have made me appreciate what a real song is all about. Coooool.
John
"A real song"
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that's an interesting observation John
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and I love it, but if I remember right, I think you've written some pretty "real songs" yourself
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strong lyric suzy
simple single vocal on the opening verse is really affecting and drew me in
builds subtly like the camera slowly drawers back as more vocal parts come in and the song reveals itself..beautiful suzy
the pace of the gtr aliken to early leonard..has a kind of hypnotic thing about it
I appreciate the thumbs up on the lyrics Noom
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it's a real compliment coming from a lyricist, such
as yourself
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I love your description of the song unfolding, and the likeness to L Cohen is thrilling
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Thanks