[hazzaj500]

HE RIDE OF REFLECTION


When you get on a bus at half past nine
You aren’t quite drunk, you’re borderline
But the world you be looking out to is deep and meaningful
It’s those nights where company isn’t necessity
When you tend to drown in your own self pity
Where the world is looking so miserably dull

You look at the stars and the moon and sea
You look across the deep sleeping city
As an even deeper tune follows on repeat

As the best suns set on a day of reflection, wrong direction or misconception

Someone buy me a ticket to paradise
Someone offer me a view from the highest rise
Someone let me live on improvise
As I’ve started to realise
This life isn’t worth it for me

You reach the lone causeway within your mind
Look hard enough and soon you can find
A job, a wife, a house that you want to keep
There’ll be those nights where company is the key
As you float on the highest rise in the city
Where you stand upon the world you managed to leap

As the best suns set on a day of reflection, wrong direction, or misconception

Someone buy me a ticket to paradise
Someone offer me a view from the highest rise
Someone let me live on improvise
As I’ve started to realise
This life isn’t worth it for me

Just a bus ride has got me feeling shitty
Feeling like a failed future stands before me
We need to get up and rise and live free
And the Ride of Reflection reads


Someone buy me a ticket to paradise
Someone offer me a view from the highest rise
Someone let me live on improvise
As I’ve started to realise
This life isn’t worth it for me

I need to buy my own ticket to paradise
I need to work for the view from the highest rise
The best way to live is on improvise
 I’ve started to realise
This life isn’t worth it for me



Verses: Am, E
Bridge: Asus4, B7
Chorus: C, G, B7, Em
Outro/finish : Em, B7 x3
Em x 1 (let it ring)

Let us know what you think, the chord pattern is sort of taken from a bunch of Noel Gallagher's High flying birds songs, e.g. Riverman, Aka broken arrow, The Death of you and me
Inspiration for the lyrics is because i'm at a stage in my life where im stuck on what to do in the future in terms of doing what makes me happy/rich

All thoughts good and bad, please post happy reading!

[Oldbutyet]

Hey Hazza

This is deep but it has a reflection of beauty which makes it really interesting to read, its also telling me you have a flow of a melody to it but im just wondering is that a guitar melody or a music melody in your mind, the reason why i ask is because you have added chords to your post so can you tell me does it flow well when you listen back on recording.

Would like to hear this if thats okay, thanks.

[hazzaj500]

Hi there Oldbutyet,
thanks for the reply, i should have it uploaded as a demo/acoustic version on my youtube channel today if you want to check it out

- the latest video on there i believe, btw i am not a very good singer for the record 

[Oldbutyet]

You need to do few more recording of it to get it to flow better but you got the making of a very good song there and you can sing, just a few suggestions that might help "Take The Ride of Reflection" adding the word "Take" i think might give it a more soulful feel to the flow of your song also leave out the words that i have strikethrough below.

Have a go at those two verses and see if they flow any better, minor changes like that can sometimes really help bring out the best in a song, your other verses to me sounds like they will need some minor changes as well but as i said try those two verses and if they feel right and you need help with the others then let us know, really nice song Hazza.

TAKE THE RIDE OF REFLECTION

When you get on a bus at half past nine
You aren’t quite drunk, you’re borderline
But the world you be looking out to is deep and meaningful
It’s those nights where company isn’t necessity
When you tend to drown in your own self pity
Where the world is looking so miserably dull

You look at the stars and the moon and sea
You look across the deep sleeping city
As an even deeper tune follows on repeat
Take the ride of reflection
wrong direction or misconception
Take the ride of reflection

[hazzaj500]

I really like the idea of the repeated phrase, it's like taking the listener on a journey more like, how about this?

THE RIDE OF REFLECTION


When you get on a bus at half past nine
You aren’t quite drunk, you’re borderline
      But the world you be looking out to is deep and meaningful
It’s those nights where company isn’t necessity
When you tend to drown in your own self pity
Where the world is looking so miserably dull

You look at the stars and the moon and sea
You look across the sleeping city
As an even deeper tune follows on repeat
Take the ride of reflection
Wrong direction or misconception
Take the ride of reflection


Someone buy me a ticket to paradise
Someone offer me a view from the highest rise
Someone let me live in a world without lies
As I’ve only just started to realise
That this life isn’t worth it for me

                                          You reach the lone causeway within your mind
Look hard enough and soon you might find
A job, a wife, a house that you want to keep
There’ll be those nights where company is the key
As you float on the high rise in the city
Let me guide you to a life where you can reap

Someone buy me a ticket to paradise
Someone offer me a view from the highest rise
Someone let me live on improvise
As I’ve only just started to realise
That this life isn’t worth it for me

Just a bus ride has got me feeling shitty
Feeling like a failed future stands before me
We need to get up and rise and live free
And the Ride of Reflection reads


Someone buy me a ticket to paradise
Someone offer me a view from the highest rise
Someone let me live on improvise
As I’ve only just started to realise
That this life isn’t worth it for me

I need to buy my own ticket to paradise
I need to work for the view from the highest rise
The best way to live is on improvise
 I’ve only just started to realise
This life isn’t worth it for me

[Oldbutyet]

I really like the idea of the repeated phrase, it's like taking the listener on a journey more like, how about this?

THE RIDE OF REFLECTION


When you get on a bus at half past nine
You aren’t quite drunk, you’re borderline
      But the world you be looking out to is deep and meaningful
It’s those nights where company isn’t necessity
When you tend to drown in your own self pity
Where the world is looking so miserably dull

You look at the stars and the moon and sea
You look across the sleeping city
As an even deeper tune follows on repeat
Take the ride of reflection
Wrong direction or misconception
Take the ride of reflection


Someone buy me a ticket to paradise
Someone offer me a view from the highest rise
Someone let me live in a world without lies
As I’ve only just started to realise
That this life isn’t worth it for me

                                          You reach the lone causeway within your mind
Look hard enough and soon you might find
A job, a wife, a house that you want to keep
There’ll be those nights where company is the key
As you float on the high rise in the city
Let me guide you to a life where you can reap

Someone buy me a ticket to paradise
Someone offer me a view from the highest rise
Someone let me live on improvise
As I’ve only just started to realise
That this life isn’t worth it for me

Just a bus ride has got me feeling shitty
Feeling like a failed future stands before me
We need to get up and rise and live free
And the Ride of Reflection reads


Someone buy me a ticket to paradise
Someone offer me a view from the highest rise
Someone let me live on improvise
As I’ve only just started to realise
That this life isn’t worth it for me

I need to buy my own ticket to paradise
I need to work for the view from the highest rise
The best way to live is on improvise
 I’ve only just started to realise
This life isn’t worth it for me

As a songwriter you have to understand, the first real feedback you're going to hear is your own on listening back to what you're hearing on recording, you say "it's like taking the listener on a journey"  i say "Take the ride of reflection" remember, minor changes thats all it needs 

[Vintage54]

   Hey,
     I'll start with the words. The opening couplet is great and draws you in, but the third line is clumsy and kills the flow. I get the meaning, but the way that you say it feels wrong, i'm sure it could come out better. No complaints about what follows, i like it a lot. Checked out the music on youtube. I know it's just a demo, but the vocal sounds lazy. It's not an upbeat song, i realise that, but you gotta put more heart into man, sounds like you're distracted at times. Having said that, lots of promise here, and looking forward to the next one.

                          Vintage54

[hazzaj500]

hi there, yeah i think i need to just work with the song and keep playing it until it becomes more personal, then i'll re-record it haha, any suggestion on how to change the first line?

[Vintage54]

  Hey,
    I think you mean the third line, first one is fine. Nothing as yet, it's a real head scratcher. But if i come up with something, i'll let you know.

                  Best wishes
                        Vintage54

[hazzaj500]

yeah i did, typo haha