This is a fresh harangue so feel free to brutalise it
ignore syntax spelling etc cos i did
We should use your head as a mast
If you want your phone to run fast
Right now you are addling my brains
With crappy chat on buses street trains….
I have no use of a mobile phone
Unless I’m stranded all alone
In a boreal forest around grizzly bears
Even then nothing can straighten affairs
The chances of survival will be very slim
I’m sure to be torn from limb to limb
You’ll be on the other end of phone
Muttering to yourself Shefki’s gone
You’ll phone the emergency services
While I’m being devoured in tiny pieces
I have no use for a mobile phone at night
It won’t protect me from a vicious fight
As I’m calling you with you some anecdote
Anyone from behind can slit my throat
We just graze on line with phones without any goal
Exposed to everything and grasping sod all
A thief on line is there now and tomorrow
Don’t let your senses go- let your soul lie fallow
All these gadgets can be a human farce
Just watch a smart phone on every dumbass
I wanna be weird by joining the social media trend
All my virtual dudes will drive me round the bend
I trod on fox bog and fell down an escalator
I’m in traction now I’ll message you later
Enjoy your surrounding let the phone ring
Being bullied on line?-get off the fucking thing!
Buried in your device you make me so pensive
Is a gold fish or your human self more attentive
Is your flaming Ipod your rectangular god
That makes you such an antisocial sod
I wish I could help someone frail
But I was too busy checking my email
Taking the Ipod from you will cause wild contortions
Excited wails of biblical proportions
Watch mothers with screeching babies in the pram
While she’s scrolling on twitter and instagram
On facebook you tell them what YOU had for din-dins
And they’ll tell me what THEY have in their bins
I know these are most disturbing finds
But we need something to enslave our minds
There I go again my ipod is God!
Or is it iphone 33 your almighty
(Same shitty gadget revised slightly)
We swap countless selfies and the camera still rolls
We’ve shown all are flesh including our arseholes
i want to have I candlelit dinner with you
But not if you chat to your social media crew
A human in front of you should be your social paraphernalia
Not some damn fine actor in say,in Uganda or Australia
I’m HERE and NOW and I love you lots
But I can’t chat with salt and pepper pot
I’m HERE and NOW and ready to take a bow
Let’s take a spin across the room and we’ll be fine
I need a human smile and not an emoji sign
I guess you’ll be proud to lean on me a bit
I prattle but I don’t pay for it!
‘cos I’m a smart,phone-free,gobby git
