She Walks in Beauty in the Night (demo)

[icystorm]

First, it's great to see this forum up again!

Earlier this year, I wrote this song and posted an early demo of it. I've since worked on it more. The song is about Hedra, who is a beautiful and omnipotent enchantress in my forthcoming fictional horror novel.

icystorm-694668905 · she-walks-in-beauty-in-the

She Walks in Beauty in the Night
Words and Music: Joseph Spain
Produced by: Joseph Spain
© 2024 Joseph Spain
song from my forthcoming fictional horror novel "Omega's Dark: The Transference"

--Verse 1
I know it's no secret
To anyone who knows me that I love this girl
She's a sorceress
With darkness in her soul

--Verse 2
She gets to my heart with kisses
Her way with words
The scent of her skin and her sweet charms
She's the lightnin' in the storm

--Pre-chorus 1
Her dark hair spills one hand past shoulders length
and shines in full moonlight
When the sun has set
And twilight turns to night she comes alive

--Chorus 1
No power or god will matter
No force on earth
Once Hedra's mind is made
The wicked lives will shatter
And when her will is done
There's hell to pay
It's much too late for sorry
Her blood moon's in the sky
And she walks in beauty in the night

--Verse 3
I'm mortal man of flesh
Not sand or stone
My heart and bones are hers to take
She's the one inside my soul, the one I crave

--Verse 4
She holds my heart in her hands
In the wink of an eye
All life is hers to own or break
She's the one of fire and flame

--Pre-chorus 2
Her raven locks fall down past shoulders length
And shimmer in the night
When the moon has come
Her curse in tongues ignites nocturnal fire

(repeat chorus 1, then to bridge)

--Bridge
Her beauty passes all creation
It's wondrous at night
She's Heaven and she lasts forever
Through eternity with her dark eyes

--Chorus 2
No power or god will matter
No force on earth
Once Hedra's mind is made
The wicked lives will shatter
When Hedra's will is done
There's hell to pay
It's much too late for sorry
Her blood moon's in the sky
And she walks in beauty in the night

--Outro
She is the Heaven
And the one who walks
in beauty in the night
She is the bliss of love
The one who walks
in beauty in the night
She is salvation
And the one who walks
in beauty in the night
She is creation
And the one who walks
in beauty in the night

[Nick Ryder]

Hi, @icystorm Joseph.

This is a great production and song. I like the attention to detail you have given to the lyrics. My only suggestion would be to add some background vocals to the chorus sections to make them more distinct from the verses, but that's only personal preference on my part as I'm a sucker for BV's

[ChrisPrice]

Indeed, great to see this place up and running again. And great to hear this song again too. I agree with Nick about maybe going for some bv's. I may just push the kit back a little in the mix too. Otherwise this is a fabulous song. It must me good, I could remember it from first time around!   

[Boydie]

What an outstanding and captivating vocal @icystorm  !!!!    Great stuff

You have built an amazing foundation - and I agree with others about adding BVs (or a warm synth pad) would really lift the chorus sections - but it is great to hear the clear structure or the track - so additional production elements would just enhance this

I loved the production and processing of your vocal - it has the perfect amount of reverb

On the mix, I found the snare quite "fatiguing", so would agree with @ChrisPrice about knocking the drums back a bit in the mix - but I can also hear some great stuff going on with the piano and the dirty guitar sound - so perhaps bring them forward a bit in the mix

I would also personally not do a fade out if you have a defined ending - I would actually lose the fade out completely and perhaps even increase the lead vocal at the very end to end the song on the last phrase "beauty in the night" and just let that lush reverb carry over and naturally fade out

I can't wait to hear more from you - and hear more about the horror fiction!

[icystorm]

@ChrisPrice, @Nick Ryder, and @Boydie many thanks for listening, your kind words, and your constructive critiques. The points each of you made are well taken, very useful, and much appreciated. I look forward to hearing new songs from you soon.