Bird Song

[Chwill]

Bird Song - Chwill

Heya, just finished this songwriting project ive been working on, a decent blend of soft indie and psychedelic rock. attempted an abstract songwriting style inspired by Jeff tweedy. any feedback would be amazing!!

Lyrics:
moss in my pocket the breeze knew my name
may i rest in the dirt where the robins once lay
the bugs all pointed and laughed at me
telling me theres other places to be
but the trees dont fly away like the birds
and the trees dont fly away like the birds

commit to it and lay down for a bit
the earth doesnt mind if you give up and quit
and im pleased to see its as sweet as can be
as they cut down down my world

Moss in my pocket and rocks in my shoe
the grass holds my hand and asked me to view
and i see eye to eye with the bees that fly
I give in and try but the leaves dont lie
and the trees dont fly away like the birds

commit to it and lay down for a bit
the earth doesnt like me and I dont give a shit
and im pleased to see its as sweet as can be
as they cut down my world

[Vicki]

First half or so, nice ambiance...I like the production on that part. The part after the vocals...suitable for playing live, I would say. Something you can get into if your audience is grooving with you.

One suggestion--not a very important one. The first line in the second and fourth sections:

commit to it and lay down for a bit

I would change to

commit to it and lie down for a bit

But, like I said, not all that important.

vicki

[mayaclars]

@Chwill ,

At the beginning - a beautiful, fairy-tale-sounding melody.
Then the transition to hard rock is very unexpected.
The purity of the solo guitar sound in the second part needs some work.

Maya

[Rightly]

Very sweet
Classic songwriting
I like when it opens up too
Does sound like it was recorded outside with the nature sounds.
Then huge psychedelic ending to drive the point home! Well done.

[Dorian Urac]

The first part is just sweet and beautifully relaxed. Wonderfull soft vocals. Also love the raw krautrock psychedelic 70s vibe at the end.

Honestly, this is exactly the type of music that I love.
Decided to follow you on soundcloud