[vibesville]

So a few years back after a road rage incident I started writing this tongue in cheek album (Still unfinished) about this cockney geezer called Joe.

Some of the tracks, got some feedback from Tom Robinson who was really encouraging which spurred me on to produce this one. It's called 'My Life'.
I'll call it folk because it tells a story. There's no chorus and no bridge, just verses ;) but I add layers as I go along which builds the track up and hopefully keeps it interesting.

My Life http://soundcloud.com/kirbyhowarth/my-life-remix

I go out on Friday nights 

a packet of fags and a couple of pints 

I'll make eyes at my girlfriends mates
cause it's something she hates

It's just my way of killing time 

I really love her and we're doing fine
I'll buy a curry at the end of the night
and that's our life

Waking up at 8 AM
we've slept in and I'm late again 

you'll get your cards one of these days
so my girlfriend says

I check my numbers at the mini mart 

a couple of quid for a brand new start
a lovely house with a Lakeside view 

oh it's a dream come true

Clicking his fingers brings me around
well it's Billy Harris and is going uptown
he knows a guy who knows a guy 

not that old lie

I tagged along just for fun 

he didn't tell me he was packing a gun 

been down that road so many times before
yeah I know the score

I turned to him said it's not for me 

it ain't cool billy can't you see 

to shoot someone you don't even know
man I've got to go

Well Billy clucked a couple of times 

but I kept on walking to his surprise
Then he  threw the gun into a bin 

and I turned and smiled at him

Well that's the road your best to take
Cause I'd hate to lose such a bloody good mate
Then we laughed and joked about his trouble and strife
Well that's my life

[James Nighthawk]

I do love a good story song. I cant listen right now, on the raod and no headphones. I'll listen soon. I like the words. The first song I ever posted on here was a verses-only thing, I like a song that shuns the chorus idea once in a while

[S.T.C]

I`m not a fan of the Artic Monkeys....but i don`t totally dislike them either(i like "bet you look good on the dance floor) ..so since this track is in the same vein ,i have sort of  have the same feelings for your song.
It is very well done,it works nicely..i have a problem with street lad poetry and their issues...

I guess this is when lyrics really do matter... 

[Boydie]

I did like this song but I think adding a different layer on each verse made it sound a little "formulaic" and I think you lost a little of the potential impact

For me the song should have really "kicked in" at 1.14 to add a little "surprise"

I didn't really engage with the lyrics as there was not really a "universal theme" (love, hate, etc.) For me to relate to

However, this is understandable due to how the song came about

Overall I think it is a good song - I think I have said it before on one of your tracks but the vocal delivery is great, I especially like the "affected" (in a god way) parts, however I think a bit more "acting" in the delivery would push it from good to great

You just found out your mate was packing a gun! Yet the delivery was the same emotion as going out for a curry

I think if you can nail acting out your fantastic lyrics they will connect more with the listener and turn a very good song in to a great song

[Schavuitje]

Hey
Lyrics are the last thing I pay attention to usually. Much more interested in the music most of the time, but I enjoyed this story.
I thought the lyrics were very well written and thought out. 
The music is very well done too. The production sounds great to me.
Because this isn't really my bag I got bored with the repetative verses and was hoping (even if you stayed with the verse theme) for some
lalala's or something just to distract for a moment.
The whole thing is well done and for me it's easy to see you know what you are doing. 
For my personal taste it's a bit too mainstream and poppy but that really is just a taste thing and should take nothing away
from the fact that it's well done and well written 

[James Nighthawk]

Those are some treble happy guitars, at least on my cans here! Pretty playing though. And less of an issue as the mix deepens

I am with Boydie pretty much all the way here. I think the intricate mix actually pulls away from the story.

Dylan does story songs better than anyone (and he does them better than anything else he does in my view). His finest; Shelter from the Storm, Desolation Row, Simple Twist of Fate, Tangled... they all work over simple arrangements with few changes. This focuses on the words and the delivery. Here I was pulled away from the story which I like on the read through.

Or course, this is part of why Dylan is so marmite.

Less could be more hear, except in vocal "acting", where some more character and emotion might grab my attention a little better.

[man of simple pleasures]

not really sure on ths one like, good idea for the story behind the lyrics, decent sing to listen to!

[Arturo Boyero]

This sounds very nice. Like a life well lived and confortable with the cotidianity. I loved it, thanks!

[vibesville]

Overall I think it is a good song - I think I have said it before on one of your tracks but the vocal delivery is great, I especially like the "affected" (in a god way) parts, however I think a bit more "acting" in the delivery would push it from good to great

You just found out your mate was packing a gun! Yet the delivery was the same emotion as going out for a curry

Yeah, it was kinda meant to be like that. This was the guys life, which was outlined in the second part of that verse.

'been down that road so many times before
yeah I know the score'

he wasn't surprised by Billy's actions, it really was just like buying a curry... just another day at the office

But of course ultimately he wanted out

[Sellon]

What a song man, a real beauty here, love the lyrics, love the voice, love the guitar, everything just works here, also the british slang is pretty awesome...I like how you've used it.

[vibesville]

What a song man, a real beauty here, love the lyrics, love the voice, love the guitar, everything just works here, also the british slang is pretty awesome...I like how you've used it.

Hey thanks man, really means a lot and glad you liked it :)

[Binladeda]

Like this a lot ...you chirpy, cheeky, cockney, chappie ....Brilliant. Loved everything about it, can't fault it....certainly be playing this again.....and again....and again....Thanks

[vibesville]

Like this a lot :D...you chirpy, cheeky, cockney, chappie :D....Brilliant. Loved everything about it, can't fault it....certainly be playing this again.....and again....and again....Thanks ;D

:) to be really honest I'm not quite from as south as that. I'm from Wolverhamton originally. The song kinda just came out that way when I was writing an album 'Joe - A London Tale' about a cockney geezer called Joe, which is yet to be finished ;/

I do hope that doesn't stop you listening though ;) and I'm glad you like.

[habiTat]

This is awesome mate, really good track, I don't normally go for the talky style of singing but man does it work here! Excellent stuff, excellent production.
The only fauilt I can find is that the forum title actually put me off listening to it and at first I avoided this one thinking it would be boring. Happily, I listened in the end anyway and it really isn't boring..

Good job

[vibesville]

This is awesome mate, really good track, I don't normally go for the talky style of singing but man does it work here! Excellent stuff, excellent production.
The only fauilt I can find is that the forum title actually put me off listening to it and at first I avoided this one thinking it would be boring. Happily, I listened in the end anyway and it really isn't boring..

Good job :) :)

Advice received and understood... and thank you :)