[faero]

Lovely song - really nice recording and a smooth build up so a lot a .  For me it's got maybe a verse too long and shy of a big 'moment' / breakdown but I think that would be missing the point....  I think the way it's sung sits just fine as none of it jarred or felt uncomfortable. Feels original too.

[vibesville]

Lovely song - really nice recording and a smooth build up so a lot a .  For me it's got maybe a verse too long and shy of a big 'moment' / breakdown but I think that would be missing the point....  I think the way it's sung sits just fine as none of it jarred or felt uncomfortable. Feels original too.

Thanks Faero, feedback is always much appreciated

I aways wondered if it may be a little to long but I never felt I wanted to strip it down. I think that any big 'moment' might have watered it down to much and lost the gist of the story.

Thanks again

[Ivar Sand]

Hi vibesville
This is my response to your post of August 06. I'm sorry about answering so late.

I do not understand your reaction to what I said about rhyme. However, please feel free to ignore what I say because I am not competent within the arts anyway.

Thanks for explaining about "oh it's a dream come true". I understand now. Sorry — my mistake.

Thanks for explaining about Billy. Actually, I thought that he was a criminal and that the 'I' person was a former criminal, now going straight. It seems you are right about my not getting it! Perhaps my school-english is inadequate for understanding the kind of English in the lyrics.

I'm sorry if my review has offended you. In the future, I'll try to be more careful with what I say and gentler in the way I express criticism.

[vibesville]

Hi vibesville
This is my response to your post of August 06. I'm sorry about answering so late.

I do not understand your reaction to what I said about rhyme. However, please feel free to ignore what I say because I am not competent within the arts anyway.

Thanks for explaining about "oh it's a dream come true". I understand now. Sorry — my mistake.

Thanks for explaining about Billy. Actually, I thought that he was a criminal and that the 'I' person was a former criminal, now going straight. It seems you are right about my not getting it! Perhaps my school-english is inadequate for understanding the kind of English in the lyrics.

I'm sorry if my review has offended you. In the future, I'll try to be more careful with what I say and gentler in the way I express criticism.

Ivar, no offense taken what so ever. You have right to say what you think... which is OK. I think from your reply, I got a sense you were looking a lot deeper and maybe a little to literally into the song to find something to pickup on.

Anyway please don't let my response put you off giving constructive feedback because that's how we grow as songwriters

Cheers
Kirby

[Dutchbeat]

a very pleasant listen this song! nice build up

the melody sticks to mind just in one listen, which is a good sign

nice one