[PopTodd]

So, maybe this song is a little TOO scary. Because it's not supernatural, but about a real horror.
But, here it is anyway:

https://hoponpop.bandcamp.com/track/cmon-angel

1.
C'mon Angel, come on down
I know why you left town
But I've come all this way to find you
Won't you please just come on down?
I've been thinking 'bout the monsters
I've been thinking 'bout them hounds
I've been thinking I can duck ‘em
Won't you please just come on down?

-c-
Well it won't be like it has been
Though I can't tell you why
I can't promise I'll be perfect
But I can promise that I'll try
If you'll just come back home with me
We'll start up from the ground
And we can make it better
Won't you please just come on down

 
2.
C'mon Angel, come on please
At least come have a talk with me
I've got a lot I’ve need to tell you
C'mon Angel, come on please
Now I'm climbing to your door
You know we've been through this before
And I know that you will let me in
So let's talk a little more

-c2-
It'll be just like it has been
Because I know you love your man
And you know that I love you, girl
More than either of us can stand
Now I'm waiting for your answer
I’m gonna take you back hometown
I'm the only one who loves you
Won't you please just come on down?

(solo)
(repeat –c2-)

3.
Well now Angel you forced my hand
And I am a violent man
But I've never been mad like this before
You'd better run while you still can...

There ya' have it.

[jmacdon]

PopTodd!  Mad as a hatter! but refreshing and fun 

Clearly you've been watching Dawn of the Dead and the Exorcist LOL.  I certainly won't be playing this to my young nieces ....

One minor crit is that the chorus needs a key-change: but other than that.... good luck in the comp!

J.

[tone]

Hi Todd

I really like this! Great rootsy feel and hooky melody, and the baritone voice gives it tons of atmosphere.

Agree with Jmacdon that the chorus needs a little something, although I'm not sure a key change is the answer. But something to give it a little of its own identity within the song would certainly add interest.

I love the conversational lyric style, and your phrasing is spot on.

I'm a sucker for a song with a strong personality, and this has it in spades. Very enjoyable, thanks for sharing

[Paulski]

Nice song! I liked the lead vocals and the repetition works well in the lyrics. Would have liked a fuller arrangement as it progressed - maybe a electric guitar solo on the top strings... but that's just personal taste.
Nice one - good luck in the competition!
Paul

[crystalsuzy]

YIKES!! That is real horror Very good lyrics and very well delivered...your voice suits this style perfectly  I like the way it moves along so quickly with no interruptions
I too agree that the chorus needs something to separate it from the rest of the song, but other than that, GREAT SONG
Good luck in the comp

[torgny_n]

This is a really good song!

The strumming guitar fits perfectly to your barritone voice.

Raw and Beautiful!

I also agree with the others that the Chorus might need some change to keep things intresting.

Good luck in the competition!

[Dutchbeat]

that is a nice song

i wasn't scared extremely much  ,

but i did enjoy that!!!!!

great songwriting

[Jamie]

Hi, great phrasing and the lyric suited the style, also,liked the vocals which were well executed. I also agree that somehow lifting the chorus would give the song a more dynamic feel!
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

I like the sound of it Todd but reckon it needs a bit of a structural rethink re chorus length. It's a bit one-paced where with a bit of a snappier chorus and a more memorable melodic hook there it would be a lot better. It doesn't even need much I don't think or that would overdo it.
Just sharpen up that chorus to engage the listener more and you'd have something.
Just my thoughts......

[PopTodd]

So, I was thinking… maybe I should re-work the chorus a bit?


I was actually planning on re-recording this one with a full band at some point, so all of these comments are very helpful. Thanks so much!

[Neil C]

Enjoy this lively little story.
You sort of knew there was something building without being to specific and then you get it at the end. Says what it has to and then gets out.
Thoughts maybe a little harp or violin might help left it in places?
Cool
 
Neil

[montydog]

Oh yes!! Right up my street. Great rootsy, bluesy sound. Great combination of gritty vocals and open guitar chords. This is a really strong song - memorable, exciting and full of energy. Easily my favourite of yours and also sounds very commercial to me. Lyrically interesting and it flows along with some nice, natural rhymes. I would buy and album of this type of stuff. I also enjoyed your last track "You Wrote This Song" so I think that means I'm a fan!

M

[PopTodd]

Oh yes!! Right up my street. Great rootsy, bluesy sound. Great combination of gritty vocals and open guitar chords. This is a really strong song - memorable, exciting and full of energy. Easily my favourite of yours and also sounds very commercial to me. Lyrically interesting and it flows along with some nice, natural rhymes. I would buy and album of this type of stuff. I also enjoyed your last track "You Wrote This Song" so I think that means I'm a fan!

M

Thanks so much! You just made my day!
Now, not all of my songs fall into this country/roots genre, for sure. I cover a lot of different styles/genres. However, I have been writing a lot more of this kind of thing recently—since I've been flying solo.

I really appreciate it.

[diademgrove]

Hi PopTodd,

reminds me of the great Townes Van Zandt and Knoxville Girl meets Its a wonderful life.

I'd be tempted to sing and play the chorus quieter. It'd sound more like a personal invitation to the angel and it would stand out because of the drop in the volume.

Its going to be a strong competition.

Keith

 

[benjo]

 HEY POPTODD


  like this a lot your vocal is really out standing
  bluesy blusey blusey and that guitar knock out

     this is gonna be hard to beat GOOD LUCK GREAT ENTRY