Midnight Moon

[Vicki]

Here's a song I posted in lyrics and got great feedback on, which I incorporated into this demo. It still needs work--I have concerns in at least two areas:
(1) the melody (I really struggled with it and thought I finally had it, but now that it's done, I'm not so sure) and
(2) production--always a major challenge for me. I know the guitar track is completely boring; I only made it so I had something to follow when doing the vocal. Drums are by Jamstix, which I really don't know how to use, so I just used the default settings. I think the song could also use some strings and/or woodwinds? And, I think, some BGVs. Something ethereal sounding.

And any constructive criticism at all is very welcome. I'm not looking for praise--I'm looking for ideas and suggestions I can get my teeth into.

Here's the link: https://soundcloud.com/caliamoko/midnight-moon-demo1

And here are the lyrics (I made some lyric errors when I recorded and didn't notice until I was uploading to SoundCloud--I'll fix them next time):

Midnight Moon[/size]

VERSE 1
Oh, crystal moon, you rise with grace to rule from starry height
Your silver trail on ocean waves reflects your gentle light
A night breeze whispers through the trees and echoes in my dreams
My waiting, aching heart grows more resilient in your beams

CHORUS
Midnight moon, shine so bright
Your beauty lights the sky
Your silver glow in quiet night
Becomes a lullaby
Midnight moon, sing to me
Midnight moon, sing to me

VERSE 2
No earthly tongue is ever heard among those radiant spheres,
And yet their song at midnight's hour is music for my ears.
They whisper truths of ancient paths, where destinies unfold,
But I am drifting far from shore, my story still untold.

CHORUS
Midnight moon, shine so bright
Your beauty lights the sky
Your silver glow in quiet night
Becomes a lullaby
Midnight moon, sing to me
Midnight moon, sing to me

BRIDGE
Silver glow upon the waves
A hush across the sea
You light a path through silent night
And set my spirit free

CHORUS
Midnight moon, shine so bright
Your beauty lights the sky
Your silver glow in quiet night
Becomes a lullaby
Midnight moon, sing to me
Midnight moon, sing to me

Midnight moon, guide my way
Show me where to go
Sparkling droplets on the waves
Help me find my home
Midnight moon, sing to me
Midnight moon, set me free

Midnight moon, sing to me
Midnight moon, set me free


copyright 2025 Vicki Morrison Goble

[icystorm]

@Vicki -- This is a quality folk song with good lyrics and vocals. The song is fine as it is. I can imagine it being played at a campfire with only vocals and an acoustic guitar. Nice work!

Regarding the ideas and suggestions you requested, for a studio version, I can imagine adding a 12-string guitar, piano, synths, additional percussion, possibly a violin during instrumental parts, backing vocals in the chorus, and also bringing the drums forward and mixing them louder. Those suggestions are not indicative of criticisms of your version at all, but a response to your request for ideas and suggestions.

With that said, I enjoyed listening to the version you posted, and I look forward to any changes you decide to make to it in the future.

Cheers,
Joseph

[IronKnee]

Very nice Vicki.... put a smile on my face.

[subvibe]

Hi @Vicki
very sweet song & lovely lyrics
if you send me the song on separate tracks DRY ..  the tempo & key or chords
i can have a try to add some other parts , i am not familiar with folk
so it could go anywhere so a good experience
no obligation as you know i just do this for fun 

greetz

subvibe

[Vicki]

Thank you for the offer! I will post WAV files on Google Drive and send you the link.

Hi @Vicki
very sweet song & lovely lyrics
if you send me the song on separate tracks DRY ..  the tempo & key or chords
i can have a try to add some other parts , i am not familiar with folk
so it could go anywhere so a good experience
no obligation as you know i just do this for fun 

greetz

subvibe

[Vicki]

@subvibe  I sent you a DM with the info.

[Vicki]

Thank you @icystorm -- I do want to keep working on this one. And I like your ideas.

@IronKnee I am touched; thank you.

@subvibe Thank you for the compliment!

[icystorm]

Thank you @icystorm -- I do want to keep working on this one. And I like your ideas.

You're welcome, @Vicki! I look forward to hearing where you take your new song.

Cheers,
Joseph
 

[Dan]

I'm not too familiar with the folk rock genre but I enjoyed this. One thing I find hard to write is delicate minimal music, I actually find it easier to write multilayered music so I admire your skill in the simplicity. The vocal is great too. Not bad at all.

[Vicki]

Thank you, Dan! Minimal is pretty much all I can handle so far.

[Mora Amaro La Loba]

Hola @Vicki
A so nice song!!! Really catchy and full of wonderful lines, this one is splendid
"Your silver glow in quiet night
Becomes a lullaby"

[Vicki]

Thank you so much @Mora Amaro La Loba ! I worked hard on this lyric!

[Rightly]

Very well done vicki
I really enjoyed that listen.
It sounds like it's been about forever.
It all seems to fit well together.
And the lyrics are outstanding!

[Vicki]

Thank you @Rightly ! Your opinion means a lot to me!

[idunno]

Vicki, this song is similar to the Hawaiian Hula songs I've heard in meter, structure, vocal character and delivery. Have you ever heard of Lehua Kalima? Your voice has it's own beautiful character and it sounds to me like you have a range that you can explore more. Very well done.