Songwriter Forum

General Category => Feedback on Works in Progress => Topic started by: LineWorkX on Dec 05, 2025, 09:43 AM

Title: Ghost
Post by: LineWorkX on Dec 05, 2025, 09:43 AM
Dark comes down from the ceiling, nowhere left to hide,
Cold in the room and you better run or hide,
They ask their questions, but every answer's a lie.
Have you ever sow them dealing on night?
Blue and red lights,shotgun- no one saw the crime .

Heartbeat in the silence, just tryin' survive

That casual smile is harder to do
Thanks for the Xanax-they now what to do


I'm fallin', I'm risin',don't know how to wake up

I'm fallin', I'm risin',don't know why I am

I'm fallin', I'm risin',don't know what is left
Title: Re: Ghost
Post by: Grit and Fury on Jan 02, 2026, 10:18 PM
Really like the dark, weighty feel of this. May I ask what style of song you are looking to use the lyrics with?

Only suggestions I can think of at the moment is to perhaps be less to the point in the Xanax line, which may open up another verse that can focus on the psychological/physical effects of the drug.

I take it the line, "Have you ever sow them dealing on night?" should be.. Have you ever seen them dealing at night?

Hope this helps. Great work though - keep at it.
Title: Re: Ghost
Post by: Vicki on Jan 14, 2026, 12:02 AM
Seems to convey a feeling of hopelessness. I'm interested in anything you have to say about it yourself and your purpose in posting. Are you looking for ideas for improvements? Does it have a personal meaning to you? Do you have a melody for it?