Forgot to mention

[calafinestrat]

Haven't been on the forum for a long time, I've been pretty inactive in my songwriting mostly because my old recording equipment was no longer up to it and I've been waiting to buy some new stuff.
This is a song I recorded earlier this year but wasn't happy with so I've re-recorded it.  It's about a guy who's had enough of his flirty girlfriend and decided to ditch her. Hope you like it.

https://soundcloud.com/cala-finestrat/forgot-to-mention-wav-1?si=1e70dc1c7efd4fa28a8b5e969ee017fa&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

[Vicki]

I like the sound of it. I like a strong beat like this. It would be fun to dance to. I have trouble hearing lyrics unless they're clear and out in front, so I missed a lot of the words. I'm a bit hearing impaired plus I always have loud tinnitus, so I can't comment on the story of it, but I can still enjoy the sound!

[calafinestrat]

Hi Vicky thanks for your feedback I'm going to make another recording today and get the balance between the backing and vocals better (already noticed it). As for the story, I've put the lyrics below so it might make a bit more sense. I'm writing a female version for my granddaughter to try.

Please let me know what you're trying to do
Are you trying to make me jealous of you
D'ya get a kick out of flirting with the guys
Staring at them with those come and get me eyes
Sorry honey I just need a girl that's true
And I've realised that girl was never you
So while you've been out looking for attention
Here's a little thing that I forgot to mention

I've had enough of you
I've found somebody new
She'll give me all her love
She's all I'm thinking of
She'll never mess around
She'll never let me down
Please stay away from me
Don't need your company
I thought that you were sweet
But you were just a cheat
I'm showing you the door
Don't love you any more

You never loved me you took me for a fool
Always telling me that I was really cool
Did ya think that I fell for all your lies
I stopped believing but you didn't realise
I only want a girl who doesn't mess around
Doesn't play away with every guy in town
Before you tell me that it wasn't your intention
Here's a little thing that I forgot to mention

I've had enough of you
I've found somebody new
She'll give me all her love
She's all I'm thinking of
She'll never mess around
She'll never let me down
Please stay away from me
Don't need your company
I thought that you were sweet
But you were just a cheat
I'm showing you the door
Don't love you any more

[Mora Amaro La Loba]

Hi @calafinestrat
Sorry ut, at least for me, the link does not work?

[calafinestrat]

Sorry, fixed now

[Mora Amaro La Loba]

Hola @calafinestrat
Glad to see you hear you!!! Good one!! very good vocal delivery and arrangement. I think the reverb you use here for vocals works very well giving them a special aura in the mix.... Great song, really!!!

[subvibe]

hi

great arrangement & vocals
guitar sounds nice
maybe a little less compression to open the mix more

Great Job

subvibe

[calafinestrat]

@subvibe Thanks for the nice feedback

@Mora Amaro La Loba Thanks so much. Good to be back on the forum again.

@Vicki Hope you heard the new version, think I got the mix better.

[Seriousfun]

Liking this a lot mate.

Love the contrast between the verse and chorus. I think you could accentuate that by dropping the drive of the instrumental pre chorus so that when the chorus hits it comes with real punch and says "Hey, I am the song and here I am"  and then pull back again after, straight into the next verse and then finish with the solid driving instrumental. Just little arrangements that would give the song more dynamics, sell the chorus better, and allow you to finish on something driving and fresh that the listener hasn't already been introduced to.

The lyrics are really nice as is the playing of the guitars. I just feel the arrangement could be improved. But, hey, just me two cents worth - good song as is.