The Perfect Role

Verse 1:
Another act, another scene,
And a new version of me, that I chose to put on this performance.
I'll change the voice, but keep the name,
Rehearse everything I say, but it still doesn't take what I've done back.
Read the rates and reviews, do whatever I have to,
To keep everyone enthralled, keep them hanging on, too.
If they laugh, just brush it off,
Never let them see you fall,
Or else they'll see it's all a show.

Pre-Chorus 1:
Lights are on, play the part,
But I don't know where to start.
Cause if I take this mask away,
There'd be nothing left to say.

Chorus:
Am I loud and dramatic, the life of every show,
Cause when the lights go out, Baby I don't even know.
If I'm quirky and fun, just a joke put on display?
And when the curtain falls, I don't know which one will stay.
If I strip it all away,
Would I even know my fucking name?
Or am I really just the role I play?

Verse 2
Said I hate the way I looked and everything I'd done
So I'd hide behind this mask till I liked what I'd become.
Rewrote these lines, got back in place,
Hid the cracks across my face.
Followed the script, found my mark
But all those scenes just felt so dark.
Even after all these years, I'm still holding back tears
The mask I wear has changed, and yet I still feel the same.

Pre-Chorus 2:
Lights are on, play the part,
Falling deeper in the dark.
Can I take this mask away?
Is it finally too late?

Final Chorus:
Am I sarcastic and witty, know exactly what to say,
Tell the perfect joke just to brighten up their day.
Or am I just a wierdo who's trying to live life?
Hyperfixating on this stupid thing I like.
So when the show is over, and the crowds have gone away?
Is there a person left or am I just the role I play?

Outro:
Lights are off, the curtains closed,
and everyone's gone home.
Time to stop playing a part, but is there a person left
or is it just this role I play? How is this song

Hi! I think the general framing of theme between the choruses and the verses works -- the verses feel more like they're about direct experiences, and then the choruses give us some reflection on the emotional impact of those experiences, leading to an unresolved question that builds with repetition as the second verse adds context.

One think you may want to look at is consistency of form, rhyme pattern, and meter. These qualities help the listener follow the structure, much like tension and resolution in a chord progression. The first verse is nine lines long and doesn't rhyme unless you count to/too (which doesn't really feel much like a rhyme, to me). The second verse is eight lines, built from four rhyming couplets, and the meter doesn't seem to align much with the first verse. The ideas are related, but the structure doesn't seem to be. This may make it hard for the verse/chorus/verse structure to stand out to listeners (particularly as the choruses also consist mainly of couplets).

I like your topic; it has substance, it's weighty. I do agree with snargleplax--this reads more like free verse than a lyric. Verses should be rhythmically consistent with each other so they can be sung to the same rhythm and melody. This applies also to the choruses. In addition, rhyme schemes should be parallel--one pattern for verses, one for choruses.

All that being said, I would be interested in hearing how you would set what you have to music. I'll be watching for that.

Vicki

I agree with Snargleplax and Vicky re scanning.  Had a play with the opening versus and pre-chorus to highlight, but feel free to ignore...obviously

Another act,
another scene,
And a new version of me,
that I chose,
that I made
For this performance.
I'll change the voice,
Keep the name,
Rehearse everything I say,
but it still
doesn't fix
what I've done.

Read the rates
and reviews,
do whatever I must do,
Just to keep
everybody
hanging on.
If they laugh,
If I stall,
I'll never let them see me fall,
Because they'd know
Yes, they'd know
That it's all a show.

Pre-Chorus 1:
Lights are on, play the part,
But I don't know quite where to start.
Cause if I take this mask away,
There'd be nothing in the way.